Lindsay Ross Blog

Weird winter.

It forgot to snow this year in Utah. It pretty much forgot it was winter completely. I think it only snowed 3 times at our house. Huge bummer for someone like me who loves seasons.

The plus side was not having to deal with snow clothes on kids. Not my favorite. So the one time it did snow a few weeks ago, I pretty much forced these two to put their snow clothes on and let me take some photos.

A few photo tips for anyone who cares.

When taking portrait type photos like this, I get them as close to a window as I can. This front room in our house has the best natural light so it’s where I take a lot of our photos. I also try not to ask them to look at me for at least a few of the shots. If I’m always saying “look at the camera” I miss photos like this one.

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Then I’ll get a few looking at the camera photos but I still try to let them do their thing and show a little personality without giving them much direction.

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When I’m shooting a close-up photo like this, I always always always focus on their eyes.

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I always try to take at least one or two “detail” shots.

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And then I just let them go and try not to interrupt what they’re doing. I just sit, observe, and take a boat load of photos. And watch them shovel the road instead of our driveway.

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HOW to help when someone is in need.

A few years ago I got an unexpected package in the mail. There was a CD and a note. It was from my little brother who lives in another state. My little family was getting knocked around pretty good by life. Thing after thing after thing kept happening. He’d catch wind of it through various complaints by me over social media or through phone conversations or e-mail. So he made me a CD of some of his favorite songs, wrote a note about how music helps him when life gets rough, and mailed it to me.

It was a CD of music. Nothing seemingly big. But it was unexpected, thoughtful, unsolicited, more needed than I realized, and something I’ll never forget.

I have multiple examples of things like this in my life. A neighbor I barely knew dropped off rolls after I had a baby, a friend brought a sign over she saw in the store and said “I saw this and it reminded me of you so I had to buy it”, my sister kept showing up at my house day-after-day when I had my fourth baby even though I said I was fine (I wasn’t), a friend I hadn’t seen in years dropped off some bread and a note saying she’d been thinking of me and our kids with anxiety (she has a kid with anxiety too and just wanted to say she understood), another neighbor dropped off a game after our son broke his leg and a friend brought a meal after the same kid broke his arm, and a friend who brought over a scented plug-in after I was at her house and said I loved the smell. Seemingly simple things, but anything but simple to me.

We all know the stories. A friend/family members gets diagnosed with cancer. The infertility treatment didn’t work, again. A child dies. Someone loses their job. A child is diagnosed with an incurable illness. Their dad unexpectedly died. The neighbor lost their job. A friend with small kids has the flu. A friend has depression. Someone’s just having a hard day. A new baby is born. An addict continues to wreak havoc on their family. We can’t stop thinking about a certain person even though they seem fine.

The stories are endless. And we find ourselves saying “What can I do to help?” and/or “Call me if you need anything.” The problem isn’t that we don’t want to help. The problem is we really want to DO something. But often can’t figure out what to do.

We hear these stories. Our initial response is that we want to help. We want to DO something. But often we can’t figure out what. So often we just don’t do anything.

I read a book, Love Does that changed my entire perspective on what Love means and what Love is (if you haven’t read it, you need to–trust me). In the book, Bob Goff says:

“I reflect on God, who didn’t choose someone else to express His creative present to the world, who didn’t tap the rock star or the popular kid to get things done. He chose you and me. We are the means, the method, the object, and the delivery vehicles….God usually chooses ordinary people like us to get things done….

…it becomes clear that we need to stop plotting the course and instead just land the plane on our plans to make a difference by getting to the “do” part of faith. That’s because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn’t just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does.“

LOVE DOES things. Love doesn’t just think about doing things. Love actually does things.

I spent a LOT of time talking to friends, family, acquaintances who have been through everything imaginable. I then compiled these ideas of things we can actually DO when tragedy strikes, when illness comes, when new babies arrive, when friends just have a bad day, when someone needs to be SEEN and LOVED.

These ideas and thoughts were compiled from dozens of people who have BEEN through these situations.

Here’s the rough breakdown of categories inside:

The Helping Others Guide is 18 pages full of ideas for ANY situation, good or bad.

General ideas of how to help anyone in need for any reason. Specific ideas for specific situations. Things to take over to boost someone’s spirits or to strengthen in a time of need. Acts of service we can do.

Although every specific life event isn’t addressed directly, there are ideas in here for any person in any situation.

To buy the Helping Others Guide, just click “I want this” below!

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Great gift for parents who are hard to buy for

My parents aren’t easy to buy for anymore. I’d run out of great ideas and needed something new and meaningful to give them. So with my siblings, we came up with this idea for our parents. This works as a great Christmas gift, Mother’s Day/Father’s Day gift, Anniversary, or Birthdays.

I asked each of my siblings to choose and print photos they had taken over the years of their family doing things. My parents don’t get to see many of the things we do and often don’t see the photographs of the vacations we take, or the everyday moments of our lives. So we each picked about 200 photos and printed them. The number of photos will vary depending on how many people are in the family and how many albums you want to fill–we filled two albums and there are 6 kids in my family.

Each sibling mailed me their photos (we don’t all live in the same state) and I mixed all the photos together and assembled them using Project Life albums and kits. You could also just put them in regular photo albums, or print them as a photo book from companies like Shutterfly, My publisher or Blurb. If your siblings live close, you could get together and assemble the albums together.

I mixed up the photos, but you could keep them together according to family if you wanted.

I used one Project Life kit per album. I put the photos in first and then added the Project Life cards to make it look a little better.

We didn’t do it this time, but next time we do this I’ll have each person write on the back of each photo the year the photo was taken and where it was taken. That would be helpful for posterity’s sake. And for my parents as they didn’t know where each photo took place. Instead of writing on the back of photos you could also write the info on Project Life journaling cards next to the photos.

Huge hit with the parents. And it’s also fun to get the albums out when we’re all together and look through the photos. This type of gift takes some pre-planning and due-dates so you can get everyone’s photos printed in time. Assembling the albums took 2-3 hours but would go faster if a group of you did it together. This could easily be a recurring gift. Each year you can print out a new batch of photos and assemble them into books. A meaningful gift that helps preserve and document the lives of our families.

*For a gift for your kids, check out this idea.

*Check here for ideas on how and where to print your photos.

*For more photography related posts, check the Photography section in the menu bar.

How to tell a story with your photos.

If you haven’t figured out by now, I’m sort of obsessed with story. Especially real stories. I’m a sucker for a good memoir and I love the stories of people’s lives.

I also love a wordless story. Photograph’s that tell a story. And show what our every day lives are like.

Often a single image can tell a story and show who someone is or what they’re doing. And can be very powerful on their own.

But many times, we can really tell a complete story if we’re intentional and thoughtful about the photos we take. There are certain components to any story, whether told through words or photos, that help tell a great story. The scene, environment, or background. The character. Moments of conflict, learning, action, or struggle. Emotion. Details. And an ending or conclusion.

When taking photos of our everyday lives, I try to be mindful of these elements.

Here is an example using these components of story.

1. SET THE SCENE

Step back, use a wider angle, get the surroundings and set the scene of where the story is taking place. (This also slowly warms the kid up to the camera so they resist the urge to look at you and disengage from what they’re doing.)

I try a few different angles when setting the scene.

2. THE DETAILS

Get in close and get some detail shots that help tell the story and help you feel something, not just see something. Detail shots are my favorite. It forces me to take a closer look at the story and really pay attention. Look for different angles and different elements of the story. Details that help paint the whole picture.

If you’re using a phone camera, get in close (don’t zoom–physically move closer). If you’re using a dSLR, learn to use aperture priority mode and lower your aperture to around f2.8 to get great detail shots.

See those dirty I’ve-been-playing-in-the-yard-without-shoes feet. That’s an extra bonus detail.

Look for some detail shots that don’t include the person. These come in handy when displaying the photos.

Sometimes my girls cheat and use duct tape to help them remember where to put their fingers.

Look for different angles as well. Don’t be afraid to experiment with angles. Get up higher using a chair or stool. Get on the ground. Move around where the action is taking place. You never know and may be surprised at what you’ll end up liking.

3. MOMENTS OF CONFLICT/LEARNING/ACTION/STRUGGLE

These are the money shots and usually the ones people are aiming for. The moment where the action takes place and the story unfolds. While these photos are critical to the story, they are just a part of the whole story. The other elements we’re discussing are equally important to the story as a whole.

Normally I’d shut down the whole climbing on the piano thing, but he knows when the camera is out he has extreme amounts of freedom to ad-lib at will.

4. EMOTION

These shots can be tricky and require some patience, but they’re definitely worth waiting for and add so much to the story. They show WHO the character is. Wait for an expression or a “look” that shows their personality. The photo you look at and say “Oh man, that is so them.” The little quirks that make the “character” unique. These are shots that make you feel. The emotion shots.

5. THE CHARACTER

I purposely saved this towards the end. Of course we want to know who the character is. And what they look like. And it’s fun to have photos where we can see into their eyes. But I usually save this one until after I get the conflict/action shots and the emotion shots. Because once we ask them to look at the camera and they disengage from what they’re doing, they may never re-engage. And then we miss a huge part of the story. So I wait towards the end and then occasionally will ask them to look at me really quick. Many times I just slide in and take the photos of the everyday moments, and slide out without ever disrupting what they’re doing.

I purposely didn’t wipe off or photoshop out the mess on his face because he’s 3. And he constantly has some sort of residue on his face. It’s there in real life, so it stays there in the photo too.

6. THE END

This is the photo that wraps it all up. How the story ends. You could end with the portrait shot, but it’s fun to have one finale shot as well.

As I mentioned before, many of our everyday photos will just be a “one and done” kind of deal that tell a story with just the one photo. But keep these ideas in mind when trying to tell a story with your photos. It takes some practice to do this instinctively and remember all the elements, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. The key thing to remember is that it takes practice. And some effort. Like all good things in our life.

A few more things to keep in mind:

**Pay attention to the everyday moments that make you FEEL something and photograph those stories.

**Don’t ask your subject to look at you. Resist the urge to say “Look at the camera” or “Look at me and smile”. Try to capture the story and leave your subject engaged in what they’re doing.

**Move around and try different angles.

**Find good natural light (which may mean re-locating in some instances. If possible, set the scene where there is good light)

**Resist the urge to always clean up the surroundings. Every day photos are interesting when they’re as real as possible. Which includes surrounding mess and clutter.

You can apply this process to most situations and any age of kid or adult. You can also use any type of camera. Here’s an example using only my iPhone.

Photography can be such a gift as it helps us pay attention more and appreciate the everyday stories of our lives.

I love this thought from my friend, Chris Jones. His son, Mitchell, died when he was 10 years old and this is what he said about taking everyday photos and telling our stories using photography:

“I began taking photos long before we discovered Mitchell’s diagnosis, but upon learning his life would be cut short, I began to see moments differently. I stopped taking photos of what things looked like and focused more on capturing what life felt like.”

Try to pay attention to what life FEELS like instead of just what life looks like. And then photograph those stories regardless of what kind of camera you have.

Every Day Photos Interview–Chris Jones

{If you missed the post about taking better Every Day photos, go check that out so you understand why I’m posting these interviews}

For those of you landing here for the first time, I’ll be posting interviews from some amazing people talking about why every day photos are important to them as well as sharing some of the photos of their “every day”. All of these people live intentional and deliberate lives and they make an effort to document their days and tell the story of their family through photos. They’re all the real deal and I’m excited and truly humbled they agreed to do this (they’re busy. Like, really busy).

You can see the earlier interviews by clicking on their names:

Courtney Slazinik from Click it Up a Notch, Chari Pack from Persnickety prints, Natalie Norton and Becky Higgins.

I’m so excited for our last interview.

Chris Jones from Mitchell’s Journey.

I’ve been following Chris for a while on Facebook and Instagram. His family story is incredible and his love for his family is tangible. He takes incredible photos and tells amazing stories with the photos he takes. His photos make you feel something. Not just see something. It’s a gift. His perspective on the importance of photos is incredible and heartbreaking. If you don’t know about Mitchell or his story, I highly recommend following Chris on his journey to tell his son’s story. I’m inspired every time he posts!

Here’s what Chris has to say about every day photos.

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1. Give me a quick synopsis of your “story”

I am the father of a young boy who, at the age of 3, was diagnosed with Duchene Muscular Dystrophy, a catastrophic muscle wasting disease that is fatal. He passed away on March 2, 2013 at the age of 10.

I began taking photos long before we discovered Mitchell’s diagnosis, but upon learning his life would be cut short, I began to see moments differently. I stopped taking photos of what things looked like and focused more on capturing what life felt like.

I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I have a wife and 4 children and am blessed beyond measure because of them.

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2. Why are every day photos important to you?

Everyday photos are important to me because they capture the substance of life as it truly is.

Looking back, the everyday photos I was once tempted to think were nothing special are really quite special. Such photos are reminders not only that we lived, but HOW we lived.

3. What is one of your favorite every day photos and why?

This is an impossibly difficult task because every single “everyday photo” is my favorite. Each of them leave breadcrumbs of the life I lived and the people I loved with all of my heart. I take over 200,000 everyday photos a year and there are so many to choose from.

Here are just a few:

*Nat and Wyatt walking. I love this photo on so many levels. It was Mother’s day and after celebrating we went on a family walk. My youngest son, Wyatt, was in his monkey pajamas holding in his arm the oversized card that was given to his mommy. The way Natalie looks upon our son with a soft smile and the look of love and admiration on his face brings me to tears every time. An ordinary moment that is more than ordinary.

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*Mitchell was on his Make-a-Wish trip when his legs gave out and he fell on the concrete. His sister quickly ran to him and began to lift him from the ground. While this photo reminds me of the tragedy of my son’s condition, it also reminds me of the beauty of spontaneous acts of love and service. That is what life is all about.

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*I took a photo of Natalie pushing Mitch on the swing one summer afternoon in our back yard. This was our life back then. Simple. Peaceful. Though I was tempted to ignore this moment, in my heart, I am so glad I captured it. It’s an imperfect photo of a perfect moment.

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*This was Christmas morning when Wyatt decided to make a fort in a toy box. This was an every day moment that is every bit awesome.

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*When I look at this slightly 0ut-of-focus image of my oldest son, Ethan, I am brought to tears because I am reminded of the sweet soul that he is. As a young boy he worked so hard to make great crayon drawings. His tiny hands gripping the crayon and the look of intensity on his face…this was our life. And I love every image of it.

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*My mother and her sister who is struggling with cancer walking down my driveway. They are fiercely loyal and loving sisters to the end. An ordinary moment that is not so ordinary. The way they hold each other makes my heart sing.

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*This is how little Mitch used to stand as a little boy. He would reach behind him and clasp his hands or fidget with his shirt. A treasured breadcrumb of a little boy we adored. Without this photo, we would have all but forgotten the tenderness of our child.

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*This photo ranks among my favorite because of the sheer serendipity of it. Mitch itching his nose, grandpa helping Ethan climb the fence so he could pee in the background and Natalie giggling in the background.

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*The head hospice doctor listening to my son’s failing heart. Little Mitch would die a few days later. The look of seriousness on the doctor’s face scared me and I wanted only to freeze time like I could freeze a moment in a photo. I could not and that broke my heart.

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*My dear wife sitting at my son’s place of rest wishing only to hold and love him once more. Those moments we visit in our minds and wish to visit again in our hearts are never portraits but rather every day moments. The stuff we took for granted. Often, the stuff we never photographed.

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4. What type of photos do you wish you had more of from your childhood?

This is such a great question. Personally, I would trade every single family photo taken in a studio, with hair perfectly primped, necks wrapped in turtlenecks and ugly sweaters and those awful corduroys my mom used to make me wear…..I would trade all of that (every single one) for just one photo of my life as it actually was.

That great American tradition of family portraits is in many ways our greatest American tragedy. We trade the illusion of moments for actual moments. We stand in front of canopies, under a tree, or in a field next to a vintage chair…color coordinated and dressed in our Sunday best. Sometimes we mix it up and wear casual clothes–as though we accidentally wore the same matching white t-shirts and jeans. Those portraits become the storefront of family tradition and they are about as meaningful (at least to me) as a thinly veiled advertisement.

However, the real canopy of life is never staged in a field or in a studio. The real canopy of life is camouflaged by the ordinary and mundane moments we so often overlook.

When we reminisce on our lives, we don’t say to ourselves or others, “Hey, remember when we stood in that studio or under that tree and took those family photos?” We don’t say, “Remember that time mom told us to stop and smile in front of the camera?” We don’t seek those photos out because they are not real and in no way represent our actual lives as we lived them.

I wish I had more photos of me playing in the sand or in mud puddles. I don’t want to see photos of me smiling into the lens…but rather the look on my face concentrating on the thing I was doing. I wish I had photos of my mom holding me as a toddler by the window on a summer afternoon…wiping away my tears after scraping my knee. I wish I had photos of my dad in the garage tinkering with tools or just sitting on the porch reading a magazine. I wish I had photos of the blanket forts I used to make. Not just the outside…but the stuff we did inside. I wish I had photos of the Star Wars bases I made out of shoe boxes and tape. I wish I had photos of making dinner as a family and those nights we ate scones and had syrup all over our faces. I wish I had photos of my empty bedroom with toys on the floor and homework on the bed.

I wish I had more photos of my life, unrehearsed. Ironically, the photos that were taken in the 70s and 80s that may have seemed like accidents back then are more treasured to me than all of the “hey smile for the camera” shots combined.

I want dirt and tears. Cuddles and cries. I want to see the life I lived through my childhood eyes.

5. What is one tip or piece of advice you would give to help people take “better” every day photos?

It is precisely the moments you don’t think about capturing that are the most valuable. If ever you’re tempted to not take a photo because the moment seems ordinary or routine…capture it!

Don’t ask people to stop what they’re doing and smile for your photos. Take photos like a paparazzi. And when you’ve taken 100 photos, take 200 more. Let your knees and stomach be your friend. Get on the floor and take photos from the angle your children see things.

Whatever you do, don’t capture photos. Capture moments. Moments unrehearsed.

Thank you SO SO much Chris. Perfectly put in every way.

You can find Chris and more about his story and the incredible photos he takes here:

Mitchell’s journey on Facebook

Miles for Mitchell on Facebook

Speech by Senator Matheson about Mitchell

Videos on Vimeo

Instagram

To learn how to take better every day photos of YOUR family story, check out the EVERY DAY PHOTOS GUIDE.