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“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” Kathy. My MOM!!

In honor of mother’s day this weekend, I asked my mom if she’d be a part of my women of inspiration series. I had a feeling she wasn’t going to be happy about it. Annnnnnd she wasn’t. But she did it anyway cause that’s what mom’s do for their kids. And I’ve really honed my persuasive skills.

What I didn’t tell her was that I just wanted a chance to show her off to the world. She’s generally quiet and reserved, but she’s wise, funny (yes, Mom, I definitely think you’re funny), a great listener, and full of integrity and love. She has the best singing voice of anyone I’ve ever heard (and I’m not even biased), she’s crazy smart, and an amazing writer. She also plays a mean game of trivial pursuit and could mop the floor in Jeopardy.

My mom was the perfect mom for me. She just let me be me. No force. No objections. No pushing or pulling. She just loved and accepted me for who I was at whatever phase I was in (including the really long phase where I was as tom-boy as girls get). That’s a pretty incredible thing to do as a parent. And I am so grateful to her for that.

Mom. I love you. Thank you for doing this interview for me despite the curse words I imagine you said under your breath. Or out loud. I learned more about you and I am SO proud to call you my mom. Happy Mother’s Day weekend!!!

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.

I, Katherine Jane Easton Thueson (aka Kathy), was born in Payson, Utah, of goodly parents who had temporarily left their California home for a job in Utah. My mom and dad came from families of 13 and 10 children respectively, but I have only one sibling, a brother four years older than I. I grew up in San Fernando, California. The Los Angeles Unified School District had split-term graduating classes. In the second grade, I was skipped from B2 to A2 because of my incorrigible behavior, aka boredom, which put me in a February graduating class from high school 10 years later. After high school, I attended Los Angeles Valley Junior College for a year and a half. I then went to B.Y.U. for four years, graduating with a Bachelor’s Degree in Fine Arts. . I majored in Speech/Drama and minored in music. I went back for a fifth year to get a teaching certificate, finally realizing I had to have some marketable, life-sustaining skill beyond perpetual student. Six months later I went to Hawaii where I taught at Farrington High School in Honolulu for the next three years. I met my husband there between my second and third years. We were married at the end of the third. We spent the next seven years in the military in El Paso, Honolulu, and Salinas, California. Three of our children were born in Honolulu. Post Army we moved to Blackfoot, Idaho, where we had three more children during the almost 10 years we lived there. Our final stop has been Sandy, Utah, where we have lived for 29 years.

2. Tell me about an “every day moment” you are grateful for.

I love my early-morning personal time. I get up before the sun, have a good long visit with the Lord, read from the Book of Mormon, and gear up for the day. Of course this is a luxury I have only been able to afford indulgence in since there are no longer children to get off to school and a husband off to work, and a tired mom to bust out of bed after a restless night with a sick child.

3. What is one ambition you have right now?

I want to do some serious and successful Family History work. Time is running out. I will sooner rather than later be meeting my departed relatives and I want to make sure I know who they are, and that they have no cause to be mad at me because I didn’t get their temple work done.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?

I would encourage them to take advantage of every opportunity to protect their own singular and individual identity and to relish it, to continue to use their inherent and developed talents and gifts regardless of age or parenting and marriage demands, and especially to maintain their ability to provide an income or contribute to one if necessary, preferably doing something they love.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

I agree with the premise that our sojourn on this earth is our story, perhaps made up of a series of smaller stories. How that story reads or plays out largely depends on choices we make, opportunities we seize, obstacles we conquer, adversity we overcome, negative temptation we choose to thwart.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on the course of your story.

From a beloved drama professor at BYU: never apologize for being unprepared. Avoid the need to apologize by meeting the deadline, being as prepared as possible, doing the best you can under the circumstances, and as gracefully as possible accepting the outcome.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life.

My mother bargaining with me to get me to go to college. When I finished high school, having had a less than challenging educational experience, I was so not interested in going any further. She begged me to just try one semester and promised she wouldn’t try to further persuade me if I didn’t like it. Reluctantly I agreed. To both of our surprise, I think, I got involved in a music program in a local junior college that opened up a whole new way of my looking at the world.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet?

I would like to finish an embarrassingly high number of stored quilt and needlework projects in various stages from barely started to almost done, some of which go as far back as my early years in Hawaii.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?

Events of import, like graduations, recitals, early vacations, family reunions, departed loved ones

10. What are you most proud of?

Almost 45 years of marriage to my continually amazing and eternally patient husband, our six wonderful children, our five cherished in-law children, and our twelve and a half beautiful grandchildren.

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?

Trust your own maternal instincts, particularly when evaluating unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends who may not yet even be parents.

12. Tell me something you are sure of.

Time passes, no matter with you do with it, or it does to you.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?

“Be kind to everything and everyone, including oneself, all the time, with no exceptions.”

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait).

Perhaps my sense of order and my all-consuming quest to achieve it—which can also be a curse.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?

Pictures of friends from the past, some of who I have even lost track of or who have died.

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety.

Take a deep breath, try to distract myself with something I love, and pray a lot—not necessarily in that order.

17. What is your favorite thing about being a mom? Your least favorite part?

I love seeing the growth process, the evolution from dependent child to amazing, intelligent, creative, independent adulthood. I hate having to observe, but largely be unable to do much about beyond probably inadequate comforting words or a listening ear, disappointment or emotional disaster.

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people?

I really do have a sense of humor.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?

To not take myself, or life, too seriously.

And for fun:

Favorite book: “My Grandfather’s Blessings” by Rachel Naomi Remens

Favorite family tradition: Sunday dinner at our house with the whole family

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: going to movies

Talent you wish you had: drawing, at least well enough to play Pictionary without getting scorned

Favorite meal: Honeybaked ham, baked potato, cooked spinach, Caesar salad, chocolate cake

If you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be? Clean a bathroom

Favorite shows on TV: “NCIS” and Nightly News with Brian Williams

Something that scares you: heights, general anesthesia, singing solos in public

Favorite thing about your husband: his consistent ability to make people—anyone—laugh

Something you can’t live without: a good book to escape into

What’s something you think about often: how very blessed I am

Thanks Mom!! I owe you. A lot.

To read more “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, click HERE.

Re-born. It’s transplant day!

My friend, Lisa, is getting her bone marrow transplant today and tomorrow. It’s called a Second Birthday because it’s like you’re being reborn.

And may we pause for a minute and celebrate the fact that she kicked cancer OUT of her body. Stage 4 Lymphoma and her screens came back clean. Incredible.

If you haven’t read about Lisa, start here.

For those of you who participated in our peace project, I thank you with every ounce of sincerity in my body. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The collage is finished. Just need to print it and get it up on her wall!

Here are some closer shots so you can find yourselves.

And here’s a little slideshow of all of you peace givers. I’m hoping Nickell can just loop it over and over on the days it feels hard to fight!

Please continue to remember her in your prayers. There is power in numbers. And she still has many hard days ahead of her.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY my friend. You have an army of people supporting you. We ALL love you and may your soul have peace during your fight.

Walking each other home.

I grew up playing night games (steal the flag, no bears are out tonight, kick the can), riding bikes, penny-tapping, and general neighborhood terrorizing.

My parents were pretty liberal in allowing me to play within the neighborhood and stay out past dark. But according to my dad, “Nothing good happens after midnight” so we always had to be home before then.

When it was time to come home, I always had fear about the final stretch to my house. My parents never came to pick me up. We just had to be home by a certain time. Sometimes I had a bike. Sometimes I didn’t. But on my street, there were NO street lights. And it was daaaaaark. And we had a sketchy neighbor.

So if my younger brother wasn’t with me (more often than not he was, thankfully), I would ride my bike as fast as humanly possible, or sprint until I jumped through our garage door into the safety of our home.

Sometimes I’d try to talk a friend into walking down my street with me and having their parent come get them at my house (totally self-serving, I know). Or other times I’d call my mom or dad and ask them to come stand in our driveway so I could see them as I came down the dark street.

I hated, hated, hated going down that dark, un-lit street by myself. (Did I mention it was dark?)

I saw this quote and and the more I think about it, the more I love it. It reminds me so much of this experience. I felt safe when someone was WITH me. When someone was “walking me home”.

They weren’t doing the work for me. They weren’t carrying me. They were just WITH me. And just knowing they were there, made me feel safe. Or safER. Sometimes I still felt a little scared, but the fear was so much easier to deal with when I had someone walking with me.

That’s how life is too. It can be scary. And hard. And daaaaaark. And there is a lot of fear. But we’re all here together. WITH each other. And we’re meant to lift each other up, help each other out, side by side, and provide safety for one another whenever possible. We’re not meant to walk alone. In darkness, or light.

Together, we’ve got this.

“We’re all just walking each other home”

Best advice I’ve ever heard about parenting

Today was one of those mom days. I was tired. And frustrated. And discouraged. And even the sound of a kid talking to me made my ears want to explode. Yes, I typed that out loud.

I just wasn’t up for the whole mom gig today.

Then while sitting in the splash zone of my 2 year olds bath, I found myself reading one of two blogs I follow and I was irritated (which has never happened before with that blog) and even more discouraged. Because she had the perfect pictures and the perfect experiences and the perfect words to describe her life.

And it made me think of how hyper-aware we are, with this Internet/technology connected world, of what all the other parents are doing. And the adventures they take. And the perfect days they have. And the messes they let their kids make. And the cruises they go on. And the games they all play together. And the huge trophy their ridiculously talented child just won. And the schedule they keep. And the meals they prepare. And the dream jobs they have.

But after I tucked my kids into bed, rocked my baby to sleep (and hid in his room for a few minutes), assured my 9 year old her pinkie would indeed not fall off in the night from severe pain, and my 7 year old would not starve before breakfast, I sat for a second and thought how lucky my kids are. And how lucky I am to be their mom.

They are loved. They are told they are loved. They are shown they are loved.

They are fed. They are adored. They have a warm place to sleep, clothes to wear, food to eat. Parents that think about their needs and futures all day long. Extended family that loves them. Books to read. Schools to go to. Great teachers and leaders who love them. Tons and tons of friends. And on and on and on.

And then I thought about the best thing I’ve ever heard (in multiple places) about being a parent. And something I think about nearly every single day. Multiple times.

God was intentional about where he placed his children and who their parents would be. And He gave me MY kids. For. A. Reason.

So when a neighbor, relative, friend, teacher, parent, stranger tells me my 3 year old shouldn’t have a binkie, I should let my kids “cry it out” to teach themselves to sleep, my kids have anxiety because I don’t leave them enough, I spend too much time exercising, I shouldn’t let her eat ice cream, I’m too patient, I should never let a child sleep in my bed, I can’t believe you let them…., you should be engaged with your child every.single.minute, you shouldn’t feed them that kind of food, you hold your babies too much, I think to myself:

“That’s why they’re mine and not yours.”

And occasionally I actually say it out loud to people who think they need to correct my parenting.

Because it’s true.

My kids are mine. And they need what I have to give. The real me. Not the imitation me. Not the me trying to be like other moms. But the me who can give them what I can give them. And do what I can do. And love them the way no other mom can. Because I am their mom.

So momma’s everywhere. May we all try a little harder to encourage one another more instead of discourage. And build each other up instead of tear each other down. And recognize we can give our kids something no other mom can. And may we all try a little harder to step up and be the kind of mom WE want to be and know we can be. Not the kind of mom others tell us to be.

And may we always remember we all love our kids. And we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. And doing what we think is best for OUR children. And what I do may not work for you. And what you do may not work for me. And THAT’S OKAY!!!

Instead of comparing and despairing (I totally just made that up), let us celebrate each other’s success’s. And remember to celebrate our OWN.

You. You, momma, are doing a good job. (I’m shouting that at you) Just keep showing up. Your kids are yours for a reason. Please don’t ever, ever forget that.

And as my friend, Glennon, would say “Carry on, warrior” momma’s, carry on.

“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration”. Kim

I first met Kim when she interviewed me to work at a new up and coming restaurant that was started by a family I adored. She ended up hiring all of my friends too. Which made for the most fun work environment I can imagine. We. had. so. much. fun. We worked hard too. And went through some tough challenges that taught us some valuable life lessons.

I immediately liked Kim and loved working with her for the next several years. She can make me laugh until I cry. And she’s CRAZY smart in business. The girl knows how to manage people.

She has a great sense of humor, positive outlook on life, courage, and a love for God. She’s about to be the mother of 3 kids under the age of 3. I wish her all the luck in the world with that. She’s gonna need it.

Super grateful I have Kim in my life.

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.

I married young (way too young) and in doing so I picked the wrong guy and gave him the wrong finger. Fast forward 10 years to when I finally found the right guy and gave him the right finger. After a bit of a struggle, we have now been blessed with 2.75 kids (#3 will arrive in June) in just 3.5 years. I am living my happily ever after, which is significantly less glamorous and more difficult than I envisioned….but every bit as rewarding as I dreamed.

2. Tell me about an “every day moment” you are grateful for:

Bedtime. It’s my favorite time of the day for a multitude of reasons. Not only I am exhausted and ready for a break and a little me time, but I love the nightly ritual of bedtime routines and then the quiet, intimate time with my kids as they wind down. I adore listening to my 3 year old say her prayers and the glimpse inside her heart and thought process it gives me. I love the snuggles and laughter of my very ticklish 18 month old. I love the wet kisses and back tickles, the stories, songs and the chance to reminisce about the best parts of our day and what we look forward to for the next. The best part is when they are finally asleep. There is something about a sweet sleeping toddler that leaves a lump in my throat and my heart so grateful that I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

3. What is one ambition you have right now:

Honestly, Survival. If I think about having three kids under three too much, it gives me serious anxiety. My ambitions are meager right now…. I just want to keep everyone fed, alive and relatively happy. And I want enough sweet moments in a day to help me keep it all in perspective. I’m praying for an abundance of patience and organization skills too.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?

I think I would want to talk about the idea that we all need to be a little kinder than is necessary, because everyone is fighting some kind of battle. No matter big or small…. we all have our hardships and heartaches and trials and we just never know what others are going through. I think most of us could stand to be a little kinder, a lot less judgemental and overall to strive to lift others up, rather than the opposite.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

Make every day count. Enjoy the journey. Don’t take things for granted. Be an active participant in creating the kind of life story that you want.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life

When I was going through my divorce, my sister got me a little decorative throw pillow that says “every end is a new beginning”. That struck me so strongly and became such a catalyst for change in my life and helped me to look forward while going through a very difficult situation. On a much smaller scale, I have thought about that in many situations in my life since then.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life story

My divorce. As devastating as it was at the time, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me and without a doubt has altered the entire course of my existence. I learned a lot about who I was, who I wanted to be, what was really important to me. It forced me to be very, very introspective, which is sometimes hard and uncomfortable. When I first met my husband Chris, I wondered why I couldn’t have just met him 10 years earlier and it’s because I wouldn’t have been ready. I had things I needed to learn and maybe couldn’t have learned them any other way.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet?

Travel to every continent. I have been a lot of amazing places in my lifetime, but I have so many more places on my bucket list.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?

I am the youngest of 8, so by the time they got to me… there aren’t scrapbooks full of pictures, so I am really grateful for ANY and ALL of the pictures that I have. However a few of favorites include a picture of me with my mom, grandma and great grandma. I also love the pictures I have of me with the amazing birthday cakes that my mom lovingly made for me each year. I also really love the pictures of me playing dress-ups with my cousins at my grandmas house, especially those that show us playing in her beloved “Hawaii Room”. I miss that place.

10. What are you most proud of?

Honestly, I am really proud of who I am. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I feel like I have learned from them and moved on stronger, better and more confident each time. I feel like although I often fall short, I try really hard to be a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, teammate, etc. The older I get, the less insecure I become. I worry less about things that don’t matter and more about things that do and that makes me proud.

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?

Time management – If it will keep my kids busy for 20 minutes and it only takes me 5 minutes to clean it up… I just netted 15 minutes. Vice Versa….. if its destructive and only keeps them occupied for a few minutes, while it will take several more to clean it up… it’s a no-go. I’m all about what nets me a little free time.

12. Tell me something you are sure of

Diet Coke is bad for you, but so are a billion other things. And it’s really good. And I love it.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?

“Write your sorrows in sand and your blessings in stone” – I don’t know who it should be attributed to. It’s written on a plaque that my mom gave me years ago and I love it because it reminds me that it’s okay to acknowledge my sorrows, heartaches or trials, but not to overly dwell on them. Focus instead on the blessings and all that is good.

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)?

I love to cook and think I am pretty decent. I enjoy and take pride in providing a variety of well balanced, mostly healthy meals for my family.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?

I wish I had more of day to day life pictures of growing up. I also wish I had more pictures of me with my grandparents. I love and appreciate all that I do have, but the older I get, the more I realize how valuable pictures are as an accompaniment to memories.

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety?

Cook, clean or read. Usually I can get into a zone and be in control with any of those things and it always helps bring me back to a better place.

(photo credit: Kate Benson)

17. What is your favorite part about being a mom? Your least favorite part (just keepin it real on this question–I know you love your kids)?

I love that I am the “mom”. I am the person that they want to “holdchu” when they are sad or sick or fall down. I am the one they come running to when I have been gone. I am the one they want to show and share their tricks and treasures with. I am the one they want to snuggle and read stories with. I’m the one that gets the cream of the crop when it comes to giggles, slobbery kisses and loves. It’s equal parts awesome, amazing, humbling and sometimes terrifying to be “the mom”.

Honestly, the rest of it is my least favorite part. The sleeplessness, the constant feeding, wiping, cleaning, sweeping, repeating, the diapers, the laundry, the whining, the messes, the oddly unpredicatable yet total groundhog day of it all. Someone once told me that 85+% of the” tasks” of being a mom were miserable and un-enjoyable, but that the other 15% totally made it all worth it. I whole-heartedly find that to be true! It’s the hardest, best job in the world.

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people

I couldn’t swallow pills until I was in college. I choked on a jaw-breaker in first grade and was terrified to ever put anything in my mouth after that. Anytime I got sick growing up, my mom would have to ask for the gross bubblegum flavored liquid “kid” formula of any prescriptions I needed… even when I was a teenager.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?

It doesn’t matter what other people think. And being a grown-up is harder than you think… don’t rush it!

(photo credit: Maria Wood)

And for fun:

Favorite book: The Alchemist

Favorite family tradition: I’m big into traditions and I have a lot, but one of my favorites is our Bethlehem Dinner at Christmastime

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: watching sports and traveling

Talent you wish you had: I wish I was a better swimmer and a better skier. Especially now that I have kids

Favorite meal: Almost anything ethnic and any meal that ends with dessert

If you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be: put away the groceries

Favorite show on TV: Chopped, although it gives me so much anxiety and Modern Family

Something that scares you: the thought of losing anyone close to me

Favorite thing about your husband: he is the most consistent person I know and good to his very core

Something you can’t live without: I have a huge sweet tooth and always have a candy/treat stash.

What’s something you think about often: Whether or not I am teaching my kids what they need to know and stressing over doing everything I can to ensure that they become decent, kind and contributing human beings.

THANK YOU, Kim!!

To read more “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, CLICK HERE.