Lindsay Ross Blog

There ARE good strangers in this world. I have proof.

Here’s a story worth telling. And remembering.

We spent the weekend at Starvation reservoir camping and boating. Despite the hurricane force winds for 48 hours and buckets full of dirt Caleb managed to scatter around the tent, we had a great time.

We of course stayed out on the lake longer than we should have and were in a rush to get back home for Father’s day dinner at my parents house.

But we were “way low on fuel, Mav” (more like coasting on fumes) so we had to stop for gas about 20 minutes from home. Mike filled up the tank while I walked around to figure out how we were going to get the boat back out of an awkward gas station driveway.

We got back on the road and headed home. After backing the boat into the driveway, I was pulling kids out of the car as cups, crumbs, clothes, and toys toppled out with them.

And then a man and a woman in a silver SUV pulled up in front of our house. I didn’t recognize them. The man got out of the car and said “Where’s your husband?” in a cheerful voice.

Mike came out from the back of the boat and the following conversation took place.

Man: “Hey. I saw you on the freeway.”
Mike: Blank stare. Thinking “oh great, I cut him off and he chased me down”.
Man: “We saw you pull out onto 800 and something flew off the top of your boat. We realized it was your wallet so we stopped. Everything went flying out everywhere, but we think we got it all back in.”

Now Mike and I were both just staring. Completely surprised by what he was saying.

Then we just kept saying “Thank you. Thank you so much” Over and over and over again.

I was honestly so surprised I didn’t even know what else to say. We certainly should have given him some cash for his trouble and asked his name and baked him some cookies and taken him for a boat ride. Something. Anything. But we just stared. And said thank you.

When Mike filled up the car, he must have set his wallet on top of the boat and forgot it there. A very uncharacteristic thing for Mike, completely normal for me.

Here’s the thing. If I’m being completely honest, and I had witnessed this happen to someone else, I would have thought “Oh man, what was that? Looked like a wallet. That super sucks” and kept driving. On a really good day I may have thought “I should probably stop and pick that up for them” but then I most likely would have come up with a dozen excuses why not to. The road is way too busy. I’ve got a sleeping kid in the back. I’m in a hurry to an appt. How would I even get it back to them? And on and on and on.

But not this man and woman. They saw Mike’s wallet. They were on a large, incredibly busy road. They must have stopped traffic. They were obviously headed somewhere. For all I know, they were headed in the opposite direction headed to a Father’s day dinner of their own.

But they stopped. And they chased down all the cards and cash they could find. And put it all back in the wallet. And found our address from Mike’s drivers license (at least I assume that’s how they found us) and DROVE THE WALLET TO OUR HOUSE and gave it all back to us.

In situations like these, I think we often say God was watching out for us. But even more accurately, these PEOPLE were watching out for us. They stopped. They gathered. They drove. And there was nothing in it for them. No reason to do it other than they obviously know WE ALL BELONG TO EACH OTHER. And God watches out for us by expecting all of us to watch out for each other. To take care of each other. To help each other. To stand by one another. And make life just a little bit more bearable.

My faith in humanity was restored a little last night. After a particularly hard week and feeling as though kindness towards one another is crumbling beneath our feet, this couple proved otherwise.
I’ll never forget what they did. It changed my heart. It restored some of my hope and faith in other people.

This wasn’t about a returned wallet. It’s just a wallet. And we could cancel the cards. Sure it’s a hassle, but not that big of a deal.

This couple obviously knows love doesn’t just say things or think things, LOVE DOES THINGS.
A seemingly small thing made a huge impact on my heart. They did what we all should do. What would this world be like if we all made a little more effort to watch out for one another?

And the best part, it all happened right in front of my kids, who were able to see first hand there are GOOD people in this world who do good things for one simple reason: we should take care of each other. It’s always the best use of time.

What am I so “busy” doing anyway?

I’ve made a new addition for my wall.

I’m putting this in a spot I walk by and look at often in my home. To remind me to slooooooow down.

I’ve been focusing a lot on my WHY. Why I do what I do. What’s most important. How I am using my time. What is consuming most of my time. Am I just busy or am I doing what matters most? And does it all support my underlying why?

What can we eliminate as a family to have less “busy” and more intention? What things will get us where we want to be? And what things won’t?

In his book, More or Less, Jeff Shinabarger says there has been “a recent cultural shift: we now determine the significance of a person by how busy they are.”

Something I think of often: If Satan can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy. Either way, he keeps us from fulfilling a purposeful life.

If I were to strip the purpose of life down to the bare bones, I would say the only thing that counts is how we treat other people. How we make other people feel. What kind of real, authentic relationships we created. How approachable we are. How we LOVE other people. How we love ourselves. What we give back to other people (time, attention, love).

Bob Goff

Am I available? Am I accessible? Am I present? Or am I too busy doing too many other things (even if those things are seemingly important)?

For some reason, when I (we) become increasingly busy, the first thing that suffers is my relationships. My time for other people, for service, for FUN, for leisure time just BEING with the people I love is often the first sacrifice.

So I ask myself, if a friend calls and needs support, will I drop everything and go? Will they even call me in the first place if they think I’m “too busy”? If one of my kids needs some extra love and attention, can my “to do” list be put aside?

Do I make sure I get quality time with my husband? Do I make sure I take care of and nurture ME ? Do I have enough time, and energy, to serve people around me?

What makes my soul come alive and how am I proactive in making time for those things? The same for my kids and husband? What makes us come alive as a family?

What do I spend my free time doing? And why? Do I even have free time? If not, why? Does my use of time reflect who I am and who I hope to become?

“We give lip service to the idea that people are supremely important. But what does our use of time say is important?”
Jeff Shinabarger

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not be busy all.the.time. It’s okay to take things off the schedule that don’t support my WHY or the goals and ambitions of our family life. It’s OKAY TO SAY NO. Because when I say “no” to one thing, I say “yes” to something that supports my why. Something that matters MORE.

So I’m trying to slow down. BE STILL. Listen. Pay attention. Notice details. Be deliberate with my time. Nurture relationships with family, friends, and strangers. And solely focus on what really matters to me. People. And love.

“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” Cameron.

Cami and I met through our mutual love of soccer. She was on my high school soccer team along with her older sister. And her dad was a referee. And her brother plays too. They kind of dominate the soccer world.

I’ve loved Cami since the day I met her. One of the most genuine, authentic, wholehearted people I know. I honestly have never had one bad thing to say about her. Or even thought one bad thing about her. Ever. She’s just a good, good soul. And I’m pretty sure anyone who knows her would say exactly the same as I. If I had to make a list of people I’d trust my life with, she’d definitely be on there.

She’s also hilarious. Like, makes me cry I laugh so hard hilarious. And she holds the title for the BEST comments on Instagram. Which obviously makes her cool.

Enjoy!

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.

Born and raised in Utah. Blessed to grow up in an amazing family that all loves soccer. My family actually moved so I could play high school soccer with my sister. Had the “college experience” at Weber State then got my nursing degree at Westminster College. I’m lucky enough to work just one day a week in the ER at the University of Utah Hospital. I’ve been married to Hans for 7 years and we have two of the coolest kids, Elsie 5 and Cohen 2 1/2.

2. Tell me about an “every day moment” you are grateful for

Getting my kids to laugh, like real laugh. I’ve told my daughter that one of my favorite sounds in the world is hearing her laugh. She also has this amazing dimple just below her eye, next to her nose, that shows up when she’s really laughing. And naptime. I’m grateful for nap time everyday.

3. What is one ambition you have right now

Getting back into shape. I grew up running after a soccer ball. Running, running, running. I don’t want to run anymore. I’ve really been getting into Pilates, Yoga and Kinesis. Loving the strength and confidence it’s giving me. And teaching my kids the importance of exercise. That I’m a better mom when I feel good about myself and am taking care of myself. And there has been an added benefit that I never would have imagined and that’s feeling part of this amazing community of strong women that I see in all my classes. New friendships have been made that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about? Placenta encapsulation. Seriously. I did it with my second and my post partum recovery was night and day different.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

I think I worry too much about all the little moments. Good and bad. “Oh man, do you think they’ll remember this,” and “Oh man, I hope they remember this.” And I think what I’ve finally decided is that I can’t stress about that everyday, all I can strive to do is make our families life story “over all, hopefully overwhelmingly good,” so that I can look back or my kids can look back and say, “man, we really had it good.”

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life

My mom is the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful person I know. She has an impact on my life everyday. But in her actions, big ones, small ones…I have been taught how to be kind, how to be sweet and how to be thoughtful. She has taught me to love everyone. Everyone.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life story

Let’s just say I dodged a huge bullet with a certain rockstar boyfriend before I met Hans. It seems obvious to say that I wouldn’t have my kids, I wouldn’t be this happy, but I know for certain. I would not be this happy. I think a lot of us have the tendency to settle for things if they’ve been a certain way for so long (there is so much history, look at all the time I’ve invested, blah, blah, blah) and I think I would have settled for a relationship that was really not that great. It was taking me awhile to emotionally and physically walk away, but then I met Hans and my course was blown out of the water.

8. What is something you want to accomplish that you haven’t yet.

I would love to be a part of a trauma response team. You know, when there is a disaster somewhere and they need extra medical help you fly to where ever it may be. I would love to be called into action, be on the front lines during those first hours of crisis and use my skills to make a difference.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?

I had an older sister who died at the age of six, I was only 1. I am so grateful for those pictures that we have of her and of us together. We always joke that I’m the black sheep of the family because I have blonde hair and blue eyes while everyone else has dark brown hair and brown eyes. Well, Corinne looked like me. Blonde and blue.

10. What are you most proud of?

Hard to say “most,” but I’m proud of my nursing degree. It took three tries to get in but I was determined and kept at it. My five year relationship with rock star also ended during nursing school which was really rough at the time. But, it also made me get out of bed every day. I’m also proud of my marriage and my kids. Boring answers, but I like the looks of both at this point and I’m going to give credit where credit is due 😉

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?

I can’t think of anything eloquent here, I will say, giving your kid Zarbee’s cough syrup with melatonin in it when they’re sick is life changing. They are asleep before you leave the room.

12. Tell me something you are sure of

That I am loved. By so many people. It’s unfathomable to me that some people have to beg for love, pray for love and I am unconditionally loved.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?

It’s not your beliefs that make you a good person, it’s your behavior.

And also, Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)?

I would say my consistency. Whether that means what I make for dinners or that I’ll show up to work when I say I will or that I won’t quit a team early that I’m not enjoying. I’m there, doing what I said I’d do.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?

My parents. Especially when I was younger. They are rarely in the pictures, esp my mom. (Note to self, get us in front of the camera more).

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety?

Talk. Talk and more talk. I also over do, over prepare. I try to control the situation the best I can. If it’s leaving the kids with someone, I try to prepare everything just right, leave notes, call in advance. Then I just have to let it go. I’m not saying this is a good habit, it just helps with the anxiety beforehand. Or does it…

17. What is your favorite part about being a mom? Your least favorite part (just keepin it real on this question–I know you love your kids)?

One of my favorite parts is hearing or seeing your kids repeat a lesson that you’ve tried to instill in them. I heard my little girl tell her cousin that “life isn’t always fair,” the other day and I couldn’t stop smiling. I do follow up with, “it’s up to us to decide how we’re going to deal with that,” just FYI. But I think you get my point. I love having real conversations with my kids and having the time and energy to make sure they feel heard and important. You can see it in their eyes and I love that. I love “knowing” your child. There aren’t too many people that know your kids as well as you do and I think that’s really cool.

One of my least favorite parts is when something that shouldn’t be a big deal becomes a big deal and you have to hold your ground so your kids don’t walk all over you. When you say no to something that really probably would have been okay but now the kid is freaking out so you have to continue saying no so they don’t think that acting out will get them what they want. Makes me feel like a mom fail every time. I’ve been trying to think before I blurt out a quick, “no!” to try to avoid this, but man that’s hard. I’m not doing very well at it.

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people

I think people are always surprised to hear that my husband is active LDS and I am not, and get this, we make it work. It’s about mutual goals, respect and love. Also, that I’m quite knowledgeable about road racing, like the Tour de France. The scoring, jersey’s, strategy, who’s a good climber, sprinter. There really is no need for this other than that my husband was really into it, so I took the time to learn.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?

I had some major stress about death/dying…”Sooo, we’re dead, for like ever and ever and ever and…” You get the point. My head still feels like it’s going to explode if I think about it too much, but I’m at peace with it now and I wish I could have been at peace with it growing up.

And for fun:

Favorite book: The Great Gatsby, The Book Thief

Favorite family tradition: Fourth of July- parade in the morning, Real game that night with fireworks.

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: Playing soccer, going to Real Salt Lake games.

Talent you wish you had: To be able to ski like my husband.

Favorite meal: The BBQ Turkey sandwich from The Dodo. Add cheese, salad on the side.

If you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be: Pack for a family trip.

Favorite show on TV: New Girl, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

Something that scares you: “The Big One,” and the chaos that will ensue after, trying to see if everyone is okay.

Favorite thing about your husband: Really hard to narrow down, but one of his best qualities is that he’s considerate. He always checks with me first before making any decision that will impact us, our family. He puts everyone else’s needs first and he believes that my time, feelings and opinion matter. His primary goal is to make others around him a priority but he doesn’t lose himself in doing that, it just makes him stand out.

Something you can’t live without: My pillow that I sleep with in between my knees. It’s not too thick, not too thin. I seriously have the worse nights sleep without it.

What’s something you think about often: Are the kids safe, are they clean, are they being nice, is it nap time yet, is it bedtime yet, when will Hans be home?

Gosh I love her!

Cameron. Thank you from every fiber of my being for doing this, but more importantly for being the kind of person who makes me want to live a better, more meaningful life!! Grateful every day you are my friend!

If you want to read more “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, click here.

Housework makes you ugly.

I saw this on Becky Higgins (the creator of Project Life) Instagram feed:

So I’m wondering if that means I need to take this down?

It’s on my wall right when people walk through the front door. Just so they understand why my house is a bomb most of the time. And it makes people smile.

Truly, though, this made me reconsider how I approach housework (and cooking dinner, and putting kids to bed, and getting kids to do homework, etc.). My attitude and disposition will teach my kids SO much more than the actual chores (or whatever it is we’re doing) will.

My attitude, about everything, “will have a deep and lasting impact” on my children’s attitude, about everything. Maybe it’s best that I start to instil a sense of positivity towards chores and housework (even if just to see them do the vacuuming for once – I will get them cleaning the floors with our Bissell vacuum yet!).

I’m still not taking down my sign though.

Summer Bucket List 2014

Each summer we sit down as a family and plan out what we’d like to do for the summer. My kids contribute and then Mike and I fill in.

I try to balance summer between work and play. It’s nice to have a little extra time to teach them new chores and have them help a little more around the house. Last week Jaida said “summer just means we have to do more chores.” And I added “it also means we get to have a lot more fun”. But yes, I do expect them to help more around the house. It’s good for them.

We also try to use summer as a time to challenge them a little. Get them to do more things that scare them (stuff behind the boat) or they think are too hard (hiking). Say Yes to adventure! And spend as much time as possible together as a family.

I print off the summer bucket list and hang it up where we can all see it. My kids keep me accountable to make sure we do the things on our list. There are usually a few stragglers on the list we never get to (like food fight–they keep adding this every year and we’ve never done it). But we do our best to fit in what we can.

Here’s this years list if anyone needs some ideas.

If you need a little extra motivation, you can join the Summer Bucket List challenge that my friend does and win prizes for completing your list.