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“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” Rachel.

I’ve known Rachel forever. We went to Elementary school, Middle School, and High school together and grew up in the same neighborhood. Though we didn’t have the same immediate circle of friends, I always really liked Rachel. One of those girls who was always kind and everyone seemed to like and gravitate towards.

She is currently a ridiculously talented photographer living in California (seriously go check out her work–photographers don’t come better than her), but has recently decided to sell all her things and move her family to Hawaii because she “couldn’t think of a reason not to”. That alone makes me love her even more. So much courage. And a desire to live an adventurous and authentic life. If you’ve just started a family, take a look at the benefits of a Nissan Pathfinder, and how it could help you to be more adventurous.

She is also an incredible writer. You can find her blog here.

I think you’ll all love this interview as much as I did.

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.

Born in Fairbanks Alaska. The northern lights were dancing in the sky and my mom was in labor with me for about 30 minutes. Wilderness baby, playing in mud, picking berries until we moved to Provo Utah when I was almost 5. Kissing tag in first grade, led to a couple of fake marriage ceremonies and plenty of make believe play until we moved to to Sandy Utah when I was 10yrs old. Kid to teenager, learned what self-conscious meant, made lifelong friends, danced, acted, cried over boys. Turned 17. Fell in love (for real). Found photography. Graduated from the University of Utah, studied English and Photojournalism. Got married. Bought a house. Got a divorce. Sold the house. Moved to New York City without a home, job or any friends. Sat on the steps of the Met in the pouring rain. Second chance. Found me. Traveled to Asia by myself for 2 months to take photos. Met a boy, met another boy. Kissed him and “fireworks”. Moved to California. Took a leap. Got married. Lived in a little blue house. Rain on the windows, after 48hrs of active labor I became a mom. Did it again 2yrs later except this time it was a Saturday afternoon and the light was pouring in. Work full time, mostly on trying to be my best self. Stay tuned.

2. Tell me about an “everyday moment” you are grateful for

So many. Most of them have to do with one on one time. I am really loving Nova hopping into bed with me every morning and talking to me in a really normal middle of the day voice, because she apparently doesn’t know how to whisper. She holds me and kisses me and looks at me nose to nose. I am also really loving after bath time with Fairbanks. He gets out and only wants me. I wrap him burrito style in a towel and we sway cheek to cheek while we sing and look at ourselves in the mirror. I love slow walks in the late afternoon with family around our neighborhood. That perfect gold light creating halos around each of them. It’s during these moments I wish I had a camera in my eyeballs.

3. What is one ambition you have right now

Most of my ambitions surround what I want for my kids right now. I am still neck deep in that baby making stage and so much of what I think about has to do with not only survival but creating really strong roots for them so they can feel secure and confident. I also find, as a creative person, my goals are always growing and changing. I have come to the realization that satisfaction for me probably won’t happen, but It’s in that unrest that I find so much drive to add and develop things I am passionate about as I go. Right now one of my ambitions is to be able to drop my daughter off at a school knowing she will thrive and the teachers are good people. Another ambition is to shoot with a lot more honesty. Not shoot for others or popularity or praise…but shoot what matters to me and my heart. Those are the images I will never regret taking. Did I answer the question? 🙂

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?

Maintaining and developing intimate relationships that matter. Conquering fear. Intentional parenting. Communicating through photographs. Creating self esteem through photography. Creating positive birth stories for your babies.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

I have been thinking about this subject so much lately. To me it means living an intentional life in a way that I am proud to talk about. Successes and failures. I want my kids to be proud to talk about the life they lived and we tried to provide for them. I want the focus to be on being close as a family and finding happiness wherever we can. I want our story to be full of triumphs…to do this we have to take chances and calculated risks.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life

Growing up I never heard my Mom gossip. I am serious. She never talked bad about anyone. She was honest and upfront but she didn’t do it at the expense of other people. I was always so proud of this fact and it made a huge impression on me as a young girl. It really helped me try and see people in the best light possible and to build others up and not tear them down. It is easy to get trapped into jealousy and envy BUT if we are concentrating on being happy for others and appreciating them for their best qualities it is a lot easier to love them. I’m not as good at this as my Mom but I hope to pass this quality on to my children as well. I want to be somebody that when others are around they leave feeling better about themselves. I want my kids to develop this skill as well.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life story

Oh man. So many. I would say going through the annulment with my first husband was the catalyst for so many big events. It created an understanding in me that helped me relate to so many others in ways I hadn’t been able to before. I developed another layer of empathy that I hope has been able to help others in similar tough life situations. I then turned my life upside down by moving to New York City to essentially start over. I can’t even begin to imagine what I would have missed had I not made that leap. I made some of my most dear friends. My photography career grew and my calling to create was solidified. The love and attachment I found in that city healed me and I will forever feel a deep love and attachment to the people and places that connected with me during that time. Since then, because of the amazing effect it had in my life, I have tried to be brave when making big life changes. I know that doing brave things usually leads to gold.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet?

I really want to have a gallery showing of a body of my work. A body of work that really means something to me and what it is sharing. That would be amazing. I also want to reach an ideal fitness level. Would be so empowering to push my physical and mental body to that place.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?

I love the ones that show me in my living environment. Ones that show what my homes looked like. All of us around the dinner table. My bedrooms. I love one of my mom holding me as a newborn. My dad shot it through the window and you can see Alaska. I really love the everyday images of us just being a family and me just being me. I could really care less about any of the posed, studio weird family groupings. Lifestyle images of us actually living are far more meaningful to me. I also want to say that my parents didn’t take anywhere close to the amount of images I shoot (obviously) but I don’t care. I love the ones they did shoot. I think keeping any of those memories is great. I don’t need a million. I am just glad I have some. Lesson learned: Shooting something is better than shooting nothing.

10. What are you most proud of?

Without a doubt giving birth to both of my kids…and as a runner up surviving the grief that happens after a divorce/annulment. One birth pushed my body and mind to it’s limits and the other my emotions. Going through both proved a strength in me beyond my ability to understand.

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?

Trust your instincts. Put down the books and see what feels right to YOU. If it feels off, it probably is. If it feels right…go with it. Of course this is not an exact science but it helped take some of the pressure off. Becoming a parent is so overwhelming but what most people aren’t reminded of is their innate ability to care for others. We were made to do this! With a good village surrounding you for support, and trust in yourself you can be a successful parent. But trusting yourself also means knowing when to ask for help and seek answers.

Also, learning to “acknowledge” our children is probably the best piece of advice there is. I think listening, acknowledging, seeing our kids, is the most important thing they need. I think if most people did a better job of acknowledging pain and happiness and any and all emotion…without judgement…we would all be more connected and closer to each other. This is big in our house and something all of us try to practice with each other.

12. Tell me something you are sure of

1) My deep deep deep connection to my kids. I was meant to be their mother. 2) During one of my final photojournalism classes in college, our teacher gave an assignment to keep a photography journal. Everyday we were required to write about what we were thinking as it relates to photography. I was relatively new in my photography journey and in my mind I thought “there is no way I will have something to say everyday…I like photography but I don’t think about it everyday”. Turns out I was dead wrong. I did think about it every day and a lot. I couldn’t stop writing about light I was seeing and color and feelings and insecurities and ideas etc etc etc. When the end of the semester came I had chills as I wrote a final paper about my journey. It was during that class and that journal assignment that I truly felt my calling as a photographer. I didn’t know why or how or to what end…but I knew without a doubt that I was meant to create and communicate in this way. That knowledge has been one of my greatest gifts and has given me something to hold on to when I doubted myself or my journey.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?

Happiness is a choice.

I was travelling in Vancouver during an especially hard time during my early 20’s. I had been struggling with the idea that others’ agency and choices could so greatly affect my own life..and I had no control over the decisions others made that impacted me so. It was the worst. I walked into a little jewelry store and while browsing I came across a little necklace that had a single silver rod hanging from the chain. Etched into the side of that rod in an itty font were the words “Happiness is a choice.” Light bulb moment. Not that I didn’t already know it, but it was the exact words I needed to hear at the exact time. I couldn’t control others. I never would. But I could, without a doubt choose happiness. And choose my own decisions in order to always guide me back to happiness. I felt a weight lift and hope was restored. Of course I bought the necklace.

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)?

My genuine interest in other people. I think I am pretty good at asking questions and actually caring about the answers. Complete strangers often tell me a lot of personal information about themselves. I feel grateful they feel they can trust me so quickly. I think this definitely plays into why I love to photograph people. In order to have your photograph taken you have to be vulnerable to a certain degree. I think I am good at helping people feel comfortable in vulnerable moments.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?

Gah. More of everything. It doesn’t even make sense but I want a photograph of everything I’ve ever seen in my entire life. At times it can be so overwhelming…my desire to document and remember. It takes a lot of self control and thought mastery for me to let go…and remind myself that memories are kept in a lot of different ways. Having kids just made this problem worse! Everything they say and do is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just hope it all sinks in and when I need to remember and re-live I will be able to.

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety?

Talk. Plan for the future. Think ahead. Or simply just educate myself. Most people just fear what they don’t know. By knowing more, there is less to fear. I find that being outside really centers me. Going for a walk or just sitting on our front stoop can be so calming. A sure fire fix for tension in our family is watching the sunset at the beach. Nothing fancy, just some ocean air and pretty light. Always makes me feel so much more hopeful about life.

17. What is your favorite part about being a mom? Your least favorite part (just keepin it real on this question–I know you love your kids)?

My favorite part is by far the intimate connection I feel with them. It’s something I have wanted and looked for my entire life. Closeness with people I love. I have found it with other people..but not usually without a fair amount of effort and time but with my kids it was instantaneous. It was then that I realized, “ So this is what I was looking for”…I was searching for my kids. Just their existence has filled a void inside of me. Like the missing puzzle piece. My least favorite part, cleaning up! Making meal after meal after meal. I know I have nothing to complain about since I only have two but Grant and I both feel like all we ever do is wipe the floor under his highchair and scan the fridge and cupboards for meal ideas. Meal planning stresses me out and I love food! Its hard working full time and wanting to do full time mommy stuff. Hard to find all the time. I need to start meal planning one day a week and sticking to it. I can’t believe I am going to have to figure out what they will eat everyday until they are 18. AHHHHHHHHH!

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people

More and more I am realizing I have a lot of very introverted tendencies. My most creative times are when I am alone or in very small groups. I would always prefer a small group or one on one interaction over a large party with a lot of small talk. I need a fair amount of alone time to center myself and think. But on the flip side I am really comfortable talking to strangers, being the center of attention…maybe I am a bit of both.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?

I wish I would have been able to more fully enjoy my sexuality and younger physique without the guilt associated with it. This probably sounds super scandalous…I just wish I didn’t spend so much time feeling guilty or bad about exploring, testing limits etc. I was, and am, a moral person. So much time wasted feeling guilt and not just appreciating the free thinking spirit that I am.

And for fun:

Favorite book: Lost Horizon by James Hilton

Favorite family tradition: Christmas candles on Christmas eve where we light the candle of the person next to us and tell them why we love them. It’s the best. Always tears.

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: Eating fun and new food, traveling to a place we have never been. Watching our kids together and knowing we made something awesome.

Talent you wish you had: Wish I was a better singer and could play the guitar. I love singing and do it all day long. Would be nice to strum along to my melodies.

Favorite meal: Papaya with lime or anything made with yeast.

f you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be: wake up before 7 in the morning

Favorite show on TV: So hard. For past shows it would have to be Star Trek The Next Generation, Battlestar Galactica, LOST and Top Chef.

Something that scares you: Of course losing anyone I love, but I was just mentioning to Grant the other day that spiders and sharks have kept me from doing numerous things I know I would love.

Favorite thing about your husband: How quickly he forgives and moves on. If we get in an argument and I were to say “can we forgive each other and move on?” 9 times out of 10 he would jump at the chance and give me a big hug. I find this so admirable. I like to hold on to things and think way too much about crap…but if I crack one smile his whole body relaxes and he immediately feels better. Love him for this.

Something you can’t live without: Cheese and sunsets at the beach with my family.

What’s something you think about often: What I can do to help my children grow to be happy, confident adults. There is nothing I want more.

Thanks again for doing this Rachel!! I know how busy you are and it means a lot to me that you believe in what I’m trying to do with this blog.

If you want to read other “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, click HERE.

“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” Kathy. My MOM!!

In honor of mother’s day this weekend, I asked my mom if she’d be a part of my women of inspiration series. I had a feeling she wasn’t going to be happy about it. Annnnnnd she wasn’t. But she did it anyway cause that’s what mom’s do for their kids. And I’ve really honed my persuasive skills.

What I didn’t tell her was that I just wanted a chance to show her off to the world. She’s generally quiet and reserved, but she’s wise, funny (yes, Mom, I definitely think you’re funny), a great listener, and full of integrity and love. She has the best singing voice of anyone I’ve ever heard (and I’m not even biased), she’s crazy smart, and an amazing writer. She also plays a mean game of trivial pursuit and could mop the floor in Jeopardy.

My mom was the perfect mom for me. She just let me be me. No force. No objections. No pushing or pulling. She just loved and accepted me for who I was at whatever phase I was in (including the really long phase where I was as tom-boy as girls get). That’s a pretty incredible thing to do as a parent. And I am so grateful to her for that.

Mom. I love you. Thank you for doing this interview for me despite the curse words I imagine you said under your breath. Or out loud. I learned more about you and I am SO proud to call you my mom. Happy Mother’s Day weekend!!!

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.

I, Katherine Jane Easton Thueson (aka Kathy), was born in Payson, Utah, of goodly parents who had temporarily left their California home for a job in Utah. My mom and dad came from families of 13 and 10 children respectively, but I have only one sibling, a brother four years older than I. I grew up in San Fernando, California. The Los Angeles Unified School District had split-term graduating classes. In the second grade, I was skipped from B2 to A2 because of my incorrigible behavior, aka boredom, which put me in a February graduating class from high school 10 years later. After high school, I attended Los Angeles Valley Junior College for a year and a half. I then went to B.Y.U. for four years, graduating with a Bachelor’s Degree in Fine Arts. . I majored in Speech/Drama and minored in music. I went back for a fifth year to get a teaching certificate, finally realizing I had to have some marketable, life-sustaining skill beyond perpetual student. Six months later I went to Hawaii where I taught at Farrington High School in Honolulu for the next three years. I met my husband there between my second and third years. We were married at the end of the third. We spent the next seven years in the military in El Paso, Honolulu, and Salinas, California. Three of our children were born in Honolulu. Post Army we moved to Blackfoot, Idaho, where we had three more children during the almost 10 years we lived there. Our final stop has been Sandy, Utah, where we have lived for 29 years.

2. Tell me about an “every day moment” you are grateful for.

I love my early-morning personal time. I get up before the sun, have a good long visit with the Lord, read from the Book of Mormon, and gear up for the day. Of course this is a luxury I have only been able to afford indulgence in since there are no longer children to get off to school and a husband off to work, and a tired mom to bust out of bed after a restless night with a sick child.

3. What is one ambition you have right now?

I want to do some serious and successful Family History work. Time is running out. I will sooner rather than later be meeting my departed relatives and I want to make sure I know who they are, and that they have no cause to be mad at me because I didn’t get their temple work done.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?

I would encourage them to take advantage of every opportunity to protect their own singular and individual identity and to relish it, to continue to use their inherent and developed talents and gifts regardless of age or parenting and marriage demands, and especially to maintain their ability to provide an income or contribute to one if necessary, preferably doing something they love.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

I agree with the premise that our sojourn on this earth is our story, perhaps made up of a series of smaller stories. How that story reads or plays out largely depends on choices we make, opportunities we seize, obstacles we conquer, adversity we overcome, negative temptation we choose to thwart.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on the course of your story.

From a beloved drama professor at BYU: never apologize for being unprepared. Avoid the need to apologize by meeting the deadline, being as prepared as possible, doing the best you can under the circumstances, and as gracefully as possible accepting the outcome.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life.

My mother bargaining with me to get me to go to college. When I finished high school, having had a less than challenging educational experience, I was so not interested in going any further. She begged me to just try one semester and promised she wouldn’t try to further persuade me if I didn’t like it. Reluctantly I agreed. To both of our surprise, I think, I got involved in a music program in a local junior college that opened up a whole new way of my looking at the world.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet?

I would like to finish an embarrassingly high number of stored quilt and needlework projects in various stages from barely started to almost done, some of which go as far back as my early years in Hawaii.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?

Events of import, like graduations, recitals, early vacations, family reunions, departed loved ones

10. What are you most proud of?

Almost 45 years of marriage to my continually amazing and eternally patient husband, our six wonderful children, our five cherished in-law children, and our twelve and a half beautiful grandchildren.

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?

Trust your own maternal instincts, particularly when evaluating unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends who may not yet even be parents.

12. Tell me something you are sure of.

Time passes, no matter with you do with it, or it does to you.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?

“Be kind to everything and everyone, including oneself, all the time, with no exceptions.”

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait).

Perhaps my sense of order and my all-consuming quest to achieve it—which can also be a curse.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?

Pictures of friends from the past, some of who I have even lost track of or who have died.

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety.

Take a deep breath, try to distract myself with something I love, and pray a lot—not necessarily in that order.

17. What is your favorite thing about being a mom? Your least favorite part?

I love seeing the growth process, the evolution from dependent child to amazing, intelligent, creative, independent adulthood. I hate having to observe, but largely be unable to do much about beyond probably inadequate comforting words or a listening ear, disappointment or emotional disaster.

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people?

I really do have a sense of humor.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?

To not take myself, or life, too seriously.

And for fun:

Favorite book: “My Grandfather’s Blessings” by Rachel Naomi Remens

Favorite family tradition: Sunday dinner at our house with the whole family

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: going to movies

Talent you wish you had: drawing, at least well enough to play Pictionary without getting scorned

Favorite meal: Honeybaked ham, baked potato, cooked spinach, Caesar salad, chocolate cake

If you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be? Clean a bathroom

Favorite shows on TV: “NCIS” and Nightly News with Brian Williams

Something that scares you: heights, general anesthesia, singing solos in public

Favorite thing about your husband: his consistent ability to make people—anyone—laugh

Something you can’t live without: a good book to escape into

What’s something you think about often: how very blessed I am

Thanks Mom!! I owe you. A lot.

To read more “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, click HERE.

Re-born. It’s transplant day!

My friend, Lisa, is getting her bone marrow transplant today and tomorrow. It’s called a Second Birthday because it’s like you’re being reborn.

And may we pause for a minute and celebrate the fact that she kicked cancer OUT of her body. Stage 4 Lymphoma and her screens came back clean. Incredible.

If you haven’t read about Lisa, start here.

For those of you who participated in our peace project, I thank you with every ounce of sincerity in my body. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The collage is finished. Just need to print it and get it up on her wall!

Here are some closer shots so you can find yourselves.

And here’s a little slideshow of all of you peace givers. I’m hoping Nickell can just loop it over and over on the days it feels hard to fight!

Please continue to remember her in your prayers. There is power in numbers. And she still has many hard days ahead of her.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY my friend. You have an army of people supporting you. We ALL love you and may your soul have peace during your fight.

“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration”. Kim

I first met Kim when she interviewed me to work at a new up and coming restaurant that was started by a family I adored. She ended up hiring all of my friends too. Which made for the most fun work environment I can imagine. We. had. so. much. fun. We worked hard too. And went through some tough challenges that taught us some valuable life lessons.

I immediately liked Kim and loved working with her for the next several years. She can make me laugh until I cry. And she’s CRAZY smart in business. The girl knows how to manage people.

She has a great sense of humor, positive outlook on life, courage, and a love for God. She’s about to be the mother of 3 kids under the age of 3. I wish her all the luck in the world with that. She’s gonna need it.

Super grateful I have Kim in my life.

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.

I married young (way too young) and in doing so I picked the wrong guy and gave him the wrong finger. Fast forward 10 years to when I finally found the right guy and gave him the right finger. After a bit of a struggle, we have now been blessed with 2.75 kids (#3 will arrive in June) in just 3.5 years. I am living my happily ever after, which is significantly less glamorous and more difficult than I envisioned….but every bit as rewarding as I dreamed.

2. Tell me about an “every day moment” you are grateful for:

Bedtime. It’s my favorite time of the day for a multitude of reasons. Not only I am exhausted and ready for a break and a little me time, but I love the nightly ritual of bedtime routines and then the quiet, intimate time with my kids as they wind down. I adore listening to my 3 year old say her prayers and the glimpse inside her heart and thought process it gives me. I love the snuggles and laughter of my very ticklish 18 month old. I love the wet kisses and back tickles, the stories, songs and the chance to reminisce about the best parts of our day and what we look forward to for the next. The best part is when they are finally asleep. There is something about a sweet sleeping toddler that leaves a lump in my throat and my heart so grateful that I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

3. What is one ambition you have right now:

Honestly, Survival. If I think about having three kids under three too much, it gives me serious anxiety. My ambitions are meager right now…. I just want to keep everyone fed, alive and relatively happy. And I want enough sweet moments in a day to help me keep it all in perspective. I’m praying for an abundance of patience and organization skills too.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?

I think I would want to talk about the idea that we all need to be a little kinder than is necessary, because everyone is fighting some kind of battle. No matter big or small…. we all have our hardships and heartaches and trials and we just never know what others are going through. I think most of us could stand to be a little kinder, a lot less judgemental and overall to strive to lift others up, rather than the opposite.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

Make every day count. Enjoy the journey. Don’t take things for granted. Be an active participant in creating the kind of life story that you want.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life

When I was going through my divorce, my sister got me a little decorative throw pillow that says “every end is a new beginning”. That struck me so strongly and became such a catalyst for change in my life and helped me to look forward while going through a very difficult situation. On a much smaller scale, I have thought about that in many situations in my life since then.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life story

My divorce. As devastating as it was at the time, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me and without a doubt has altered the entire course of my existence. I learned a lot about who I was, who I wanted to be, what was really important to me. It forced me to be very, very introspective, which is sometimes hard and uncomfortable. When I first met my husband Chris, I wondered why I couldn’t have just met him 10 years earlier and it’s because I wouldn’t have been ready. I had things I needed to learn and maybe couldn’t have learned them any other way.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet?

Travel to every continent. I have been a lot of amazing places in my lifetime, but I have so many more places on my bucket list.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?

I am the youngest of 8, so by the time they got to me… there aren’t scrapbooks full of pictures, so I am really grateful for ANY and ALL of the pictures that I have. However a few of favorites include a picture of me with my mom, grandma and great grandma. I also love the pictures I have of me with the amazing birthday cakes that my mom lovingly made for me each year. I also really love the pictures of me playing dress-ups with my cousins at my grandmas house, especially those that show us playing in her beloved “Hawaii Room”. I miss that place.

10. What are you most proud of?

Honestly, I am really proud of who I am. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I feel like I have learned from them and moved on stronger, better and more confident each time. I feel like although I often fall short, I try really hard to be a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, teammate, etc. The older I get, the less insecure I become. I worry less about things that don’t matter and more about things that do and that makes me proud.

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?

Time management – If it will keep my kids busy for 20 minutes and it only takes me 5 minutes to clean it up… I just netted 15 minutes. Vice Versa….. if its destructive and only keeps them occupied for a few minutes, while it will take several more to clean it up… it’s a no-go. I’m all about what nets me a little free time.

12. Tell me something you are sure of

Diet Coke is bad for you, but so are a billion other things. And it’s really good. And I love it.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?

“Write your sorrows in sand and your blessings in stone” – I don’t know who it should be attributed to. It’s written on a plaque that my mom gave me years ago and I love it because it reminds me that it’s okay to acknowledge my sorrows, heartaches or trials, but not to overly dwell on them. Focus instead on the blessings and all that is good.

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)?

I love to cook and think I am pretty decent. I enjoy and take pride in providing a variety of well balanced, mostly healthy meals for my family.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?

I wish I had more of day to day life pictures of growing up. I also wish I had more pictures of me with my grandparents. I love and appreciate all that I do have, but the older I get, the more I realize how valuable pictures are as an accompaniment to memories.

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety?

Cook, clean or read. Usually I can get into a zone and be in control with any of those things and it always helps bring me back to a better place.

(photo credit: Kate Benson)

17. What is your favorite part about being a mom? Your least favorite part (just keepin it real on this question–I know you love your kids)?

I love that I am the “mom”. I am the person that they want to “holdchu” when they are sad or sick or fall down. I am the one they come running to when I have been gone. I am the one they want to show and share their tricks and treasures with. I am the one they want to snuggle and read stories with. I’m the one that gets the cream of the crop when it comes to giggles, slobbery kisses and loves. It’s equal parts awesome, amazing, humbling and sometimes terrifying to be “the mom”.

Honestly, the rest of it is my least favorite part. The sleeplessness, the constant feeding, wiping, cleaning, sweeping, repeating, the diapers, the laundry, the whining, the messes, the oddly unpredicatable yet total groundhog day of it all. Someone once told me that 85+% of the” tasks” of being a mom were miserable and un-enjoyable, but that the other 15% totally made it all worth it. I whole-heartedly find that to be true! It’s the hardest, best job in the world.

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people

I couldn’t swallow pills until I was in college. I choked on a jaw-breaker in first grade and was terrified to ever put anything in my mouth after that. Anytime I got sick growing up, my mom would have to ask for the gross bubblegum flavored liquid “kid” formula of any prescriptions I needed… even when I was a teenager.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?

It doesn’t matter what other people think. And being a grown-up is harder than you think… don’t rush it!

(photo credit: Maria Wood)

And for fun:

Favorite book: The Alchemist

Favorite family tradition: I’m big into traditions and I have a lot, but one of my favorites is our Bethlehem Dinner at Christmastime

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: watching sports and traveling

Talent you wish you had: I wish I was a better swimmer and a better skier. Especially now that I have kids

Favorite meal: Almost anything ethnic and any meal that ends with dessert

If you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be: put away the groceries

Favorite show on TV: Chopped, although it gives me so much anxiety and Modern Family

Something that scares you: the thought of losing anyone close to me

Favorite thing about your husband: he is the most consistent person I know and good to his very core

Something you can’t live without: I have a huge sweet tooth and always have a candy/treat stash.

What’s something you think about often: Whether or not I am teaching my kids what they need to know and stressing over doing everything I can to ensure that they become decent, kind and contributing human beings.

THANK YOU, Kim!!

To read more “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, CLICK HERE.

Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration. Kamie.

“Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration”

We all have a story to tell. And I love to learn from other people’s stories. I’m choosing women to interview who inspire me to show up and create and live a better life story.

Meet Kamie.

Whenever I read the comments on her Instagram feed or Facebook, I almost always see comments that say “I love your life”, “I’m so jealous”, “You always have so much fun”, “You’re such a good mom”, and on and on and on.

The truth is, Kamie (and we’ll give her husband Clarke a little credit too) is one of the most intentional mothers I know. She works hard to DO things. To make things happen. Instead of just talking about doing things, she actually does them. She is the queen of travel and is always out doing things with her family. It makes me want to DO more with my kids and with my life.

Some of her answers actually made me tear up a little. I’m lucky to call Kamie my friend.

1. Give me a quick peek at your story.
Born and raised in Salt Lake. I’m the 3rd of 5. College at Snow, Dixie, and BYU. Met and married Clarke right before senior year. Lived in Michigan for a year and I taught Kindergarten at a low-income school. Moved to Utah and I taught another year of Kindergarten in Eagle Mountain. Moved to Los Alamos, New Mexico (teeny tiny town) and had my first daughter, Mariko, in 2003. Moved back to Utah. Had more babies (Kaia, 2007. Beckett, 2009. Parker, 2013). Currently working hard to perfect that whole MOM thing.

2. Tell me about an “every day moment” you are grateful for
I feel like this is one of the great bonuses about being a stay-at-home mom. I am living every minute with my kids. I’m the first person they see when they wake up. I’m the first person they see when they walk out of school. And I’m the last person they give a hug to before they fall asleep. There are many, many messy, frustrating, exhausting moments that I’d like to erase. But there are also so many sweet “every day moments” that I’m so lucky to be a part of. Sometimes when all my kids are eating breakfast, sleep still written on their faces, it’s quiet for a second and I get this burst of love and gratitude that I HAVE PEOPLE TO MAKE BREAKFAST FOR. People who need me and love me. Or when my 10 year old is practicing a talk she has to give in piano about her flute. I listen to her voice, watch her face, and just can’t believe my good fortune that she’s mine. Or when my 6 year old sits in the front seat on the way to Kindergarten and says (missing her 4 front teeth, which makes her irresistible), “Mom, lets talk about stuff. I like talking to you.” Or when my 4 year old tells me a joke which makes no sense in the slightest, but his twinkle in his eyes and his baby teeth grin suddenly makes the joke funny. Or when my 8 month old snuggles into me after a bath, working his binkie, I can just sit and stare at all those little features and smell that baby smell and drift into 7th heaven. There are moments all day long like this–if we just take the time to take it in.

3. What is one ambition you have right now
Right now in this season of life, I am completely devoted to my kids. Sometimes I feel guilty and sad about not being able to shower my husband with attention, or not being able to visit my grandma more often, or not being able to take my sisters to lunch, or not being able to use the education I have (I mean, changing diapers and driving the kids a million places isn’t using the parts of my brain that I SWEAR I have). The thing with life is–you can’t do it all. It’s impossible. So right now, my 4 young people are demanding almost all my attention. And that’s ok. My mom once told me, “you know, you can never go back and re-raise your kids. Take the few short years you can and build the best people you can.” So I would say that I have lots of “life ambitions”–meaning, lots of things I want to see, do, and accomplish. But they are taking a back seat right now. And I’m good with that.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?
Hmm. I guess I feel the most passionate about what the title “MOM” means–in this pocket of life I’m in now. And about how important that is. And how a lot of moms feel failure too much and are way too hard on themselves. How we compare ourselves to others too much. How sometimes we feel “fine” but we’re not really “fine” sometimes. And that’s ok. How we should forget how “busy” we are sometimes and enjoy those crazy nut jobs we call kids. The “MOM” title is somewhat brutal–but such a gift!

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you?

I love this phrase. Another one of my mom’s gems is she told me the night before I got married: “Enjoy each phase of life. Never wish for any phase to be over. Live each phase to the fullest. Once it’s gone, that’s it! And you move right along to the next one.” I have treasured that little nugget. Clarke and I had SO MUCH FUN before we had kids. Newly married, new jobs, moves. Growing closer, becoming better friends and partners day by day. And then in an instant, that phase was over and on to the “mom of little kids” phase. I feel like I’m pretty good at enjoying each phase of life before it passes. Before long I’ll have “big kids”, then “teenagers”, then “marriages, missions, college”, maybe a “career” phase somewhere in there, then “grandma”. And if you don’t take the time to SIT IN YOUR PHASE and be happy in it, it’ll all pass you by in a flash and you’ll wonder what happened. That’s what “creating a good life story” means to me.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life
I feel like the two people who have influenced me most are my mom and my husband. My mom had 5 kids and I had the best, happiest, easiest childhood. I now know that something like that took A TON OF WORK AND SACRIFICE on her part. And she continues to be my listening ear and the best advice-giver. I really am not sure how I landed such an awesome husband, but somehow I did. In our marriage ceremony, the officiator told us that many angels were assisting in our meeting each other. I don’t doubt it. He is the most positive, happiest person I know. Incredibly giving, has a true heart of gold. He has a million friends–people are magnetized to him after they meet him. I feel like in the 14 years I’ve known him, he teaches me things indirectly. He DEFINITELY makes me a better person, just being around him.

7. Name one event in your life that has made a significant impact on the course of your life story
Hmm, interesting. One thing that pops into my head is my first year of college at Snow. I walked into some bad friend and boy situations–and I’d drive home every weekend crying and begging my parents to let me quit and come home. And they hugged me and sent me back on my way every Sunday. That year was super tough. I remember as the year was coming to an end, I thought to myself, “I DID IT. I can do hard things. I can be MY OWN PERSON. I am good enough.” I grew emotionally by leaps and bounds that year. I realized that if someone destructive is in your life, they shouldn’t be. I look back and know for sure that, as terrible as that year was, it made me more of who I am today.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet?
A lot! To me, the best thing in life is relationships. Nothing else really matters that much. So I feel like it’s a work in progress. I want to be a better wife. Spend more time being selfless and coming up with ways to make my husbands life better. I want to be a better mother–get distracted less and be “busy” less and enjoy more. I want to be a better sister. I have 4 siblings, all with spouses–and I know for sure that I could be closer to each of them. I want to be a better daughter. I still feel like I’m “taking” way more than I’m “giving” with them. Career-wise, I’d love to go back to influencing kids.

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?
Um, none! Ha! I was a big time nerd most of my teenage years–tall and awkward, braces, glasses. I cringe every time I see myself. But I will say–we found an old VHS tape the other day at my parents house from 1993 (I was 14). It was Christmas, Easter, a Florida vacation–the usual things you’d videotape. But it was fascinating. My kids and husband watched for a bit and laughed, but I was glued to the screen. Seeing my parents looking so young, watching how we interacted as siblings. Seeing my grandpa (who passed away in 2004). It felt like it was yesterday–crazy.

10. What are you most proud of?
I’m proud of all the people around me, that’s for sure. I’m proud of how hard Clarke works and how good he is at what he does. I’m proud of my kids all the time. I’m proud of my parents–watching them close to retirement and seeing them enjoy each other for so many years. But of myself? That’s harder to see. I’m proud of my college education. The testimony I have. The decisions I’ve made. I’m proud of myself sometimes when I crawl into bed at night after a long hard day–that my kids are all still alive and everyone got fed and everyone had clean clothes and everyone got (mostly) listened to and hugged and loved.

11. What is the best parenting advice/tip someone gave you?
There is a talk by Jeffrey R Holland that really hits home every time I read it or hear it. It’s a story about himself as a young dad, poor and struggling, and his car breaks down. He has to leave his wife and kids to find help. He is incredibly discouraged. He imagines himself standing there next to his younger self. “I couldn’t help calling out to him: DON’T YOU QUIT. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, THEY COME. It will be all right in the end. TRUST GOD and believe in good things to come.” Parenting is hard. Crazy crazy hard. Most of the time I’m not sure I’m doing enough, or even doing it right. When I get frustrated, I always think of this. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying.

12. Tell me something you are sure of
Here’s something I’m sure of. Satan wants us to fail. The article “When Satan Steals Your Motherhood” is a perfect read. She talks about Satan admiring you when you lose your patience, when you compare yourself to others and think you’re sub-par, when you tune the world out and ignore life around you. I get feelings all the time about being a stay-at-home mom. Like, I should really be out using my brain and earning lots of money and doing something “worthwhile”. Hmm–do you think Satan has anything to do with those thoughts? That’s something I know for sure. Satan gets real scared when we are teaching our kids how to be kind to others, how to try your best, how to repent and try again.

13. What is your favorite quote or your life motto?
Hmm. I’ve read so many good books and heard so many amazing things. Right now, we’re making a BIG CHANGE and moving out of state. That’s what is occupying my mind. I’m scared shitless. But excited at the same time. Glennon Doyle Melton wrote an amazing book called “Carry on Warrior” (thanks Linds)–and this thought keeps coming back to me. There’s a part in the book where she talks about sending her kids off to school. And about how to be brave and be kind to others and not be worried about fitting in. She says “BRAVE is not something you should wait to feel. Brave is a decision.” I’m worried about watching my kids do hard things, like move away from grandmas and grandpas and cousins who they adore. Going to a brand new school and not knowing a soul. Having new coaches and new teammates and new church friends. But I’m worried about myself, too. Brave is a decision.

14. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)?
It’s funny comparing myself to other people. Clarke and I are alike in a lot of ways–both pretty easy going, both like to do the same things. But we are different too–he’s a social butterfly and he’s very aware of how to make people comfortable and happy. He’s just a fun person. I’m quite the opposite–I’m more of a social recluse, and I’m definitely more quiet in a social setting. I’d much rather have a one-on-one date and he’s always trying to invite people 🙂 But the funny thing is, as much as I admire those qualities in Clarke, I appreciate that I am how I am. Of course, being married to him has forced me to do things I would never do if I was married to someone like me. So that’s good. But (especially the older I get) I am comfortable in my own skin. If I could tell my 16 year old self anything, it would be to not be so worried about what other people are doing, saying, whatever. Now that I’m in my mid-thirties (yikes) I feel pretty good about knowing who I am. When I taught the 16 year old girls in church, one of the moms came up to me after I was released and told me that her daughter admired me–“she doesn’t care if she’s sitting with her friends or sitting all by herself. She just does what she does and she’s so confident all the time.” This took me off guard because I wouldn’t consider one of my strongest points to be confidence–but I compare less and less the older I get. I am who I am.

15. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?
I feel pretty good about taking pictures–I take a lot of pictures on my phone, and every once in a while take some with the nice camera for good quality. I blog and keep up with it. I’m good with baby books. I make sure we get a family picture done once a year. I get newborn photos done. My computer crashed in 2010–luckily I retrieved all the photos I had on it (from 2003 on) but they are all jumbled and unorganized. From 2010 on, my photos are all backed up and organized. I need to hire an expert to come get it all together…
As far as childhood pictures, my parents did ok–holidays, vacations, birthdays, special events. Every now and then there’s a funny picture of me getting my hair done by my older sister at age 3, or me holding a Grover doll by the neck and eating yogurt. Wish there were more “every day” pictures for sure.

16. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety?
Fake it. Seriously. If I’m nervous about teaching relief society, I fake it and act like I’ve got it all together and I know every answer to every question. If I’m scared of putting an offer in on a house FAR away from the home I know, I fake it and pull the “this house is going to be so fun” line. I figure the more I fake it, the more I realize that it wasn’t scary after all.

17. What is your favorite part about being a mom? Your least favorite part (just keepin it real on this question–I know you love your kids)?
Favorite–so many things. After I had my first, I wasn’t getting pregnant and I was so afraid that I’d only have one. After my faith was tried, I got another one. I remember praying so earnestly, with my whole heart, telling the Lord if He’d just send me one more, I’d be happy as a clam and would never ask for anything again. ha ha. I just wanted “KIDS” so bad and I felt so sad thinking that I’d have one child to mother. A friend of mine who adopted two kids told me, “I’m just so happy that I have messes to clean up!” So that’s my favorite thing about being a mom–I’m blessed with FOUR beautiful kids and feel so lucky.
Least favorite–of course there’s lots of things that somewhat suck. Probably my least favorite thing is two-fold: not taking care of myself (because I simply don’t have the time to myself) and that usually, the responsible stuff falls on me. Dad gets to come home at night and be “party dad”–and mom is still nagging them about chores, homework, piano practicing, showering, blah blah blah. Gets old sometimes.

18. Tell me something about yourself that may surprise people

I think it surprises people to hear that I think of myself as somewhat of a shy personality. I must mask it well. Although–like I said before, the older I get, the more confident I feel. Which in turn has made me much less of an introvert.

19. What’s one thing you wish you would have known when you were younger?
I tried to tell my 16 year old class this, and I’m starting to tell my older girls this. That it really doesn’t matter if you’re considered “popular”. Or if you’re invited to the “cool parties”. Or that you have 2 friends instead of 100. What matters is how you treat people. If you make good decisions. If you’re smart. If you’re obedient. After junior high or high school, no one cares anymore. That stuff falls away. (Yes, adults still have to deal with “not being included” sometimes but it doesn’t matter, really.) It’s like the classic story of the homecoming queen being fat and poor and unhappy, and the ugly geek handsome and rich as can be. I think everybody has to kind of learn this on their own. But I’ll still tell my kids this over. And over. And over 🙂

And for fun:

Favorite book: The Giver (so many simple good lessons)

Favorite family tradition: I’m a Christmas fanatic so everything around that holiday is like a dream.

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: traveling. For sure. And as much fun as family vacations are, we like adult vacations just as much 🙂

Talent you wish you had: Sports. ANY sport. Never did anything as a kid. And I’m super uncoordinated. I’m jealous of people who are good at a sport.

Favorite meal: Anything I’m eating on a date night. No rush. No spills. No helping someone else. Fabulous.

If you never had to do one specific thing again, what would it be: I could care less if I never skied ever again. Not a fan. Cold. And I fall. A lot.

Favorite show on TV: Hmm. Back in the day it was Friday Night Lights. I think that was the ultimate for me.

Something that scares you: Not a fan of heights. Roller coasters are fine as long as I’m strapped down. Hmm. Maybe that’s part of skiing hate–the ski lift. I feel like I could slip right out to my death. And I can’t stand close to a balcony edge.

Favorite thing about your husband: This is tough. He’s fun. He’s ambitious. He’s talented. He’s sweet. He’s an amazing Dad. I could go on…

Something you can’t live without: I’ll say this just because I’m “dieting”. I refuse to go without cookie dough every now and then. Or movie popcorn. So suck it, diet.

What’s something you think about often: Great question. I find myself thinking about people on the other side of the veil–if they watch me and help me along the way sometimes. Clarke’s mom died when Kaia was a baby and I think about her and the good work she did. Or maybe even future grand kids know me and can see whats going on? Would be interesting to know how it all works

THANK YOU, Kamie!!

To Read previous “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, CLICK HERE.