tell my story Archives - Page 2 of 8

Embracing change

I wanted to get my girls haircut before spending a week in Lake Powell, hoping to avoid brushing out tangles that seem to form just by looking in their general direction.

On the way there, Mya announced “I want to cut my hair short”.

Usually my response to any sort of change, especially “big” change, is “are you sure?” or even more accurate “nope”.

But I’m making a conscious effort to embrace change. And to teach my kids to not fear change. And instead ask questions like “why not?” and give answers like “sure, let’s give it a try”.

And Mya is often my greatest example in this. She’s open minded. She’s not controlling. She loves life and ALL it has to offer. And she’s almost always willing to try something new. In almost any circumstance.

So short it went. And it seems to fit her personality. And will hopefully be far more manageable in the morning after she does who knows what in the night that makes her hair tie itself in knots.

Grateful for a 7 year old who already knows (and hopefully never forgets) that change is good. It’s usually where adventure waits for us.

There ARE good strangers in this world. I have proof.

Here’s a story worth telling. And remembering.

We spent the weekend at Starvation reservoir camping and boating. Despite the hurricane force winds for 48 hours and buckets full of dirt Caleb managed to scatter around the tent, we had a great time.

We of course stayed out on the lake longer than we should have and were in a rush to get back home for Father’s day dinner at my parents house.

But we were “way low on fuel, Mav” (more like coasting on fumes) so we had to stop for gas about 20 minutes from home. Mike filled up the tank while I walked around to figure out how we were going to get the boat back out of an awkward gas station driveway.

We got back on the road and headed home. After backing the boat into the driveway, I was pulling kids out of the car as cups, crumbs, clothes, and toys toppled out with them.

And then a man and a woman in a silver SUV pulled up in front of our house. I didn’t recognize them. The man got out of the car and said “Where’s your husband?” in a cheerful voice.

Mike came out from the back of the boat and the following conversation took place.

Man: “Hey. I saw you on the freeway.”
Mike: Blank stare. Thinking “oh great, I cut him off and he chased me down”.
Man: “We saw you pull out onto 800 and something flew off the top of your boat. We realized it was your wallet so we stopped. Everything went flying out everywhere, but we think we got it all back in.”

Now Mike and I were both just staring. Completely surprised by what he was saying.

Then we just kept saying “Thank you. Thank you so much” Over and over and over again.

I was honestly so surprised I didn’t even know what else to say. We certainly should have given him some cash for his trouble and asked his name and baked him some cookies and taken him for a boat ride. Something. Anything. But we just stared. And said thank you.

When Mike filled up the car, he must have set his wallet on top of the boat and forgot it there. A very uncharacteristic thing for Mike, completely normal for me.

Here’s the thing. If I’m being completely honest, and I had witnessed this happen to someone else, I would have thought “Oh man, what was that? Looked like a wallet. That super sucks” and kept driving. On a really good day I may have thought “I should probably stop and pick that up for them” but then I most likely would have come up with a dozen excuses why not to. The road is way too busy. I’ve got a sleeping kid in the back. I’m in a hurry to an appt. How would I even get it back to them? And on and on and on.

But not this man and woman. They saw Mike’s wallet. They were on a large, incredibly busy road. They must have stopped traffic. They were obviously headed somewhere. For all I know, they were headed in the opposite direction headed to a Father’s day dinner of their own.

But they stopped. And they chased down all the cards and cash they could find. And put it all back in the wallet. And found our address from Mike’s drivers license (at least I assume that’s how they found us) and DROVE THE WALLET TO OUR HOUSE and gave it all back to us.

In situations like these, I think we often say God was watching out for us. But even more accurately, these PEOPLE were watching out for us. They stopped. They gathered. They drove. And there was nothing in it for them. No reason to do it other than they obviously know WE ALL BELONG TO EACH OTHER. And God watches out for us by expecting all of us to watch out for each other. To take care of each other. To help each other. To stand by one another. And make life just a little bit more bearable.

My faith in humanity was restored a little last night. After a particularly hard week and feeling as though kindness towards one another is crumbling beneath our feet, this couple proved otherwise.
I’ll never forget what they did. It changed my heart. It restored some of my hope and faith in other people.

This wasn’t about a returned wallet. It’s just a wallet. And we could cancel the cards. Sure it’s a hassle, but not that big of a deal.

This couple obviously knows love doesn’t just say things or think things, LOVE DOES THINGS.
A seemingly small thing made a huge impact on my heart. They did what we all should do. What would this world be like if we all made a little more effort to watch out for one another?

And the best part, it all happened right in front of my kids, who were able to see first hand there are GOOD people in this world who do good things for one simple reason: we should take care of each other. It’s always the best use of time.

What am I so “busy” doing anyway?

I’ve made a new addition for my wall.

I’m putting this in a spot I walk by and look at often in my home. To remind me to slooooooow down.

I’ve been focusing a lot on my WHY. Why I do what I do. What’s most important. How I am using my time. What is consuming most of my time. Am I just busy or am I doing what matters most? And does it all support my underlying why?

What can we eliminate as a family to have less “busy” and more intention? What things will get us where we want to be? And what things won’t?

In his book, More or Less, Jeff Shinabarger says there has been “a recent cultural shift: we now determine the significance of a person by how busy they are.”

Something I think of often: If Satan can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy. Either way, he keeps us from fulfilling a purposeful life.

If I were to strip the purpose of life down to the bare bones, I would say the only thing that counts is how we treat other people. How we make other people feel. What kind of real, authentic relationships we created. How approachable we are. How we LOVE other people. How we love ourselves. What we give back to other people (time, attention, love).

Bob Goff

Am I available? Am I accessible? Am I present? Or am I too busy doing too many other things (even if those things are seemingly important)?

For some reason, when I (we) become increasingly busy, the first thing that suffers is my relationships. My time for other people, for service, for FUN, for leisure time just BEING with the people I love is often the first sacrifice.

So I ask myself, if a friend calls and needs support, will I drop everything and go? Will they even call me in the first place if they think I’m “too busy”? If one of my kids needs some extra love and attention, can my “to do” list be put aside?

Do I make sure I get quality time with my husband? Do I make sure I take care of and nurture ME ? Do I have enough time, and energy, to serve people around me?

What makes my soul come alive and how am I proactive in making time for those things? The same for my kids and husband? What makes us come alive as a family?

What do I spend my free time doing? And why? Do I even have free time? If not, why? Does my use of time reflect who I am and who I hope to become?

“We give lip service to the idea that people are supremely important. But what does our use of time say is important?”
Jeff Shinabarger

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not be busy all.the.time. It’s okay to take things off the schedule that don’t support my WHY or the goals and ambitions of our family life. It’s OKAY TO SAY NO. Because when I say “no” to one thing, I say “yes” to something that supports my why. Something that matters MORE.

So I’m trying to slow down. BE STILL. Listen. Pay attention. Notice details. Be deliberate with my time. Nurture relationships with family, friends, and strangers. And solely focus on what really matters to me. People. And love.

Housework makes you ugly.

I saw this on Becky Higgins (the creator of Project Life) Instagram feed:

So I’m wondering if that means I need to take this down?

It’s on my wall right when people walk through the front door. Just so they understand why my house is a bomb most of the time. And it makes people smile.

Truly, though, this made me reconsider how I approach housework (and cooking dinner, and putting kids to bed, and getting kids to do homework, etc.). My attitude and disposition will teach my kids SO much more than the actual chores (or whatever it is we’re doing) will.

My attitude, about everything, “will have a deep and lasting impact” on my children’s attitude, about everything. Maybe it’s best that I start to instil a sense of positivity towards chores and housework (even if just to see them do the vacuuming for once – I will get them cleaning the floors with our Bissell vacuum yet!).

I’m still not taking down my sign though.

Summer Bucket List 2014

Each summer we sit down as a family and plan out what we’d like to do for the summer. My kids contribute and then Mike and I fill in.

I try to balance summer between work and play. It’s nice to have a little extra time to teach them new chores and have them help a little more around the house. Last week Jaida said “summer just means we have to do more chores.” And I added “it also means we get to have a lot more fun”. But yes, I do expect them to help more around the house. It’s good for them.

We also try to use summer as a time to challenge them a little. Get them to do more things that scare them (stuff behind the boat) or they think are too hard (hiking). Say Yes to adventure! And spend as much time as possible together as a family.

I print off the summer bucket list and hang it up where we can all see it. My kids keep me accountable to make sure we do the things on our list. There are usually a few stragglers on the list we never get to (like food fight–they keep adding this every year and we’ve never done it). But we do our best to fit in what we can.

Here’s this years list if anyone needs some ideas.

If you need a little extra motivation, you can join the Summer Bucket List challenge that my friend does and win prizes for completing your list.