love does Archives - Page 2 of 2

Re-born. It’s transplant day!

My friend, Lisa, is getting her bone marrow transplant today and tomorrow. It’s called a Second Birthday because it’s like you’re being reborn.

And may we pause for a minute and celebrate the fact that she kicked cancer OUT of her body. Stage 4 Lymphoma and her screens came back clean. Incredible.

If you haven’t read about Lisa, start here.

For those of you who participated in our peace project, I thank you with every ounce of sincerity in my body. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The collage is finished. Just need to print it and get it up on her wall!

Here are some closer shots so you can find yourselves.

And here’s a little slideshow of all of you peace givers. I’m hoping Nickell can just loop it over and over on the days it feels hard to fight!

Please continue to remember her in your prayers. There is power in numbers. And she still has many hard days ahead of her.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY my friend. You have an army of people supporting you. We ALL love you and may your soul have peace during your fight.

Walking each other home.

I grew up playing night games (steal the flag, no bears are out tonight, kick the can), riding bikes, penny-tapping, and general neighborhood terrorizing.

My parents were pretty liberal in allowing me to play within the neighborhood and stay out past dark. But according to my dad, “Nothing good happens after midnight” so we always had to be home before then.

When it was time to come home, I always had fear about the final stretch to my house. My parents never came to pick me up. We just had to be home by a certain time. Sometimes I had a bike. Sometimes I didn’t. But on my street, there were NO street lights. And it was daaaaaark. And we had a sketchy neighbor.

So if my younger brother wasn’t with me (more often than not he was, thankfully), I would ride my bike as fast as humanly possible, or sprint until I jumped through our garage door into the safety of our home.

Sometimes I’d try to talk a friend into walking down my street with me and having their parent come get them at my house (totally self-serving, I know). Or other times I’d call my mom or dad and ask them to come stand in our driveway so I could see them as I came down the dark street.

I hated, hated, hated going down that dark, un-lit street by myself. (Did I mention it was dark?)

I saw this quote and and the more I think about it, the more I love it. It reminds me so much of this experience. I felt safe when someone was WITH me. When someone was “walking me home”.

They weren’t doing the work for me. They weren’t carrying me. They were just WITH me. And just knowing they were there, made me feel safe. Or safER. Sometimes I still felt a little scared, but the fear was so much easier to deal with when I had someone walking with me.

That’s how life is too. It can be scary. And hard. And daaaaaark. And there is a lot of fear. But we’re all here together. WITH each other. And we’re meant to lift each other up, help each other out, side by side, and provide safety for one another whenever possible. We’re not meant to walk alone. In darkness, or light.

Together, we’ve got this.

“We’re all just walking each other home”

Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration. My friend. She has cancer.

I’m starting a series on my blog. “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration”. I’m inspired by strong women who show up every day and share their stories with the world. I’ll be interviewing women from all different life situations that I want to learn more about who inspire me to show up and live a better life story. And then I’ll share their stories with all of you (and my kids).

The first person I wanted to feature is my friend.

You know those e-mails you never want to get? Those ones that tell you one of your childhood friends has cancer. Yea, I got one of those. And though it was obviously devastating news, it’s turning out to be a defining period of my life.

Lisa, who I also affectionately call Nickell (her maiden name), and I met when I was 12. We played competition soccer together. So we’re not just friends, we’re teammates. We played soccer together for nearly 10 years.

She’s had more than her fair share of health problems. And then got hit with Stage 4 non-hodgkins lymphoma. A game changer to say the least.

No one wants to hear the word cancer associated with themselves or someone they love. But along with the hell associated with cancer, there is also an element of hope. A look into the human spirit at its finest, bravest moments.

She decided to shave her head before chemo started taking her hair. She wanted to be in control of whatever she could. So I asked her if I could photograph the “hair funeral”. Watching her shave her head was one of the bravest things I have ever witnessed. Those pictures are still too painful and intimate for her to share, but here are a few after she was done.

Here is the interview I did with her. And stick around until the end cause we’re doing something really cool for her (that can also be used as a template for other people to use for those they love with cancer) and I NEED your help!!!

1. Give me a quick peek at your story: I was born and raised in Utah. I played soccer since before I can remember. I played in high school for Alta. I’ma lover of all sports and outdoor activities. What I lack in size, I made up for in my determination. I’m very competitive. I went to nursing school and met my amazing husband at the University of Utah. I’ve been married for 11 years. On September 5th our life changed when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I’ve been battling for my life ever since.

2. Tell me an “every day moment” you are grateful for: Right now, I am grateful for waking up alive each day. Getting to tell my family that I love them, and giving my niece a hug.

3. What is one ambition you have right now: I want to start a health clinic on wheels for the homeless. Similar to the 4th Street Clinic, but mobile.

4. If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about? That one single person can make a difference. You, alone, can make a change in the world. You don’t need thousands of dollars and thousands of people to help make a difference. What you, alone choose to do each and every day can change someone’s world.

5. What does the phrase “create a good life story” mean to you? To me, it means living every single day to its fullest. Live each day like it could be your last.

6. Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life Right before my grandma died, she told me to never hesitate to tell someone that you love and appreciate them. Don’t assume that they already know. It’s okay if you told them yesterday…say it again. If you’re feeling it in the moment, say it.

7. Name one event in your life that has made the greatest impact on the course of your life story Becoming a wish granter for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Also, going to Haiti.

8. What is something you want to accomplish you haven’t yet? I want to have children

9. What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years? I’m most grateful for photos of my family and close friends. I’m relying a lot upon those people right now, and it’s comforting to look back at older photos and see that it’s the same group of people that have continually supported me through whatever life throws my way.

10. What are you most proud of? Never quitting. Never giving up.

11. Tell me something you are sure of: I’m sure there is a level of happiness that comes from serving someone else that can’t be reached any other way.

12. What is your favorite quote or your life motto? I have two: “Life’s most persistent and urgent questions is, ‘What are you doing for others?'” Martin Luther King Jr., and “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” Gandhi

13. What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)? I really care for those less fortunate than me, and try to do whatever I can to help them.

14. What type of photographs do you wish you had more of? I wish I had more photographs from my honeymoon and dating my husband.

15. What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety? I used to exercise to drive away fear and anxiety. Now, I hand out hamburgers to the homeless.

And for fun:

Favorite Book: Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss

Favorite Family tradition: Dutch Oven Cook off at the cabin

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse: playing tennis

Talent you wish you had: I wish I could play a musical instrument

Favorite meal: It changes weekly. Right now I would say it’s cantaloupe. Yep, just cantaloupe

If you never had to do one specific things again, what would it be: Go through a round of chemo. Or, on a lighter note, fill the car with gas

Favorite show on TV: Vampire Diaries

Something that scares you: Dying without having told my family I love them first

Favorite thing about your husband: Brian can always make me laugh. It doesn’t matter what trial we’re facing he helps me face it with humor. And he is just so kind. Brian is the kindest man I know.

Type of candy you can’t life without: ALL CANDY. Anything you would find in the candy isle. I need it all

What’s something you think about often: I think a lot about hunger in the world. People going hungry.

If you don’t know Lisa, you’re missing out. For those of us who get to call her a friend, well, we’re pretty lucky. She’s definitely one-of-a-kind. She’s nearly killed me (literally) on several different adventures we’ve been on together. Once in a very sketchy mini-van ride, another where I nearly drowned. I blame her for my fear of water.

Here’s where I need your help. For any of you who know and/or love someone with cancer, you know how brutal it is. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. The days are long. The weeks even longer. Because her cancer is so severe, she has to be admitted to the hospital each time she receives chemo. She stays there for at least 6 or 7 days, often more, at a time.

It gets lonely. And hard. And scary. And there are days where all she can do is draw on the strength of others. Her walls in the hospital are lined with pictures of people who love her. To remind her why she’s fighting.

Right now, she needs something more than ever to take her mind off what is still ahead. She still has a long way to go–more chemo, then a bone marrow transplant.

Lisa is famous for her “peace sign” in pictures. Always flashing that peace sign.

So. We (she’s in on this) want to collect as MANY pictures of people flashing the peace sign as we can and put them in a huge collage (I’m talkin’ huge) for her to hang on the wall in the hospital and in her home. Even if you don’t know her, we’d love for you to participate. My guess is we ALL know someone affected by cancer (it’s so rampant) so we know how desperate people get for hope. And when Lisa sees pictures of people doing the peace sign with HER in mind, it brings her hope. And peace to her soul.

There is strength in numbers. And strength in knowing people are thinking about you and people CARE.

We’ll be collecting pictures for ONE WEEK. Deadline is next Thursday, March 27th. Doesn’t need to be anything fancy. Just a picture of you, your kids, co-workers, family, strangers, whatever doing the peace sign. Then e-mail it to me. [email protected] Please title the e-mail “PEACE PICTURE” so we don’t lose any. That’s it. (You can e-mail it directly from your camera phone. If you don’t know how to do that, ask a kid. They’ll know how:) )

You can also send more than one picture with different groups of people. We’ll take as many as we can get.

Once we have them, we’ll make a killer poster. And post it so everyone can see. And hopefully make it into a useable template for anyone else who wants to use it to do a similar project for someone they love with cancer.

Thanks in advance for your help. My friend needs a boost. A push to keep fighting. She’s a fighter. But no one can fight cancer alone.

Love you Nickell.

We now declare the following week “Peace Sign Picture” week. I gave myself power to do that.

To read more “Real Life Stories–Women of Inspiration” interviews, CLICK HERE.

The Road Home

“We envision a community that recognizes the inherent dignity of those who live in poverty and homelessness”

My brother was homeless a few different times in his life. Our family will forever be grateful to the Road Home for helping keep him alive during a period in his life where we (his family) were trying out that whole “tough love” thing with an addict.

The Road Home saves lives. And I’m not being dramatic. It saved my brothers life on more than one occasion. And though he may not have a lot of nice things to say about his experience there (which is understandable) I personally am thankful he had a warm place to stay when I was unable to provide him with one. One of the hardest experiences of my life.

Whenever I go outside in Utah winters, I always think of homeless people.

Over the past 3 years, there has been a 300% increase in families needing help from the Road home.
Right now there are close to 1000 people being assisted by the Road Home. And that’s just the people who go there to stay. There are many homeless people who find other solutions.

(pulled this image off the Internet. Not the Road Home, but gives you an idea)

I know there is a lot of judgement attached to a homeless person. But the truth is, it could be any of us. If you didn’t have family to help you out, and you lost your job and couldn’t find another one (which is a reality), where would you go? What would you do?

OR (and this seems to be the bigger issue) if there is a mental health issue and no insurance for treatment. A HUGE problem in our society which I have witnessed first hand when trying to find resources for my brother. Which often leads to self-medicating (thus the rampant problem of drugs and alcohol among homeless people).

(image from the Internet)

There are a lot of good people at the homeless shelter. There are a lot of KIDS at the homeless shelter. Victims of consequences that came from choices that weren’t their choices.

So when I have a chance to give, or donate, I always choose the Road Home. And I’m hoping to be able to get more involved as a volunteer as my kids get older.

(image from Internet)

A few years ago, not long after my brother had stayed there, my family did a clothing drive for the Road Home in an effort to give back to them.

We posted something on Facebook to family and friends. That was it. My front room was overtaken by donations.

First we filled up a trailer. We ended up needing to rent a UHaul to get all of the donations down to the Homeless shelter.

Every time I came home from errands, my porch would be filled with donations. Turns out I know a lot of amazingly generous people!

The truth is, most people want to give. And many of us have the resources to give. We just need to know WHERE to give.

If you are interested in learning more about the Road Home, please visit their website. There are a lot of great opportunities for giving.

**You can donate money. It only takes $9 to shelter one person for one night. You can do a one time donation (for any amount) or you can have money deducted monthly.

**You can donate “in-kind” things. On the website, they list what the urgent needs currently are. Right now this is the list:

Urgent Needs

Towels & Pillows
Coats & Jackets (all sizes)
Jeans & Warm clothing (all sizes)
Boots & Shoes (all sizes)
Socks (all sizes)
Underwear (new, all sizes)
Blankets (twin, full, & queen)
Diapers (sizes 3-5)
Baby Bottles & Formula

**You can also donate to help people who have been moved to the Palmer Court Apartments, a supportive housing development that helps formerly chronically homeless family’s or individuals. They have different “kits” needed for the apartments. You can find the list here or through the Road Home website.

There are also many opportunities to volunteer.

You can find a list of ongoing opportunities here or group opportunities here.

When I was a youth, my church youth group used to drive to the homeless shelter once a year and pick up a bunch of kids. We brought them back to our community pool and let them swim for a few hours, fed them dinner, and sent each kid home with a backpack full of school supplies. Now that I’m an adult, I realize what a HUGE logistical task this would have been. But it was an amazing, and VERY memorable experience for me as a youth. So grateful for my leaders who organized that event.

It kills me that we live in a world where there a millions of people without a home. I hope to be actively involved throughout my life in finding solutions to that unacceptable problem.

We Belong To Each Other.

“To me, Jesus sounded like an ordinary guy who was utterly amazing. He helped people. He figured out what they really needed and tried to point them toward that. He healed people who were hurting. He spent time with the kinds of people most of us spend our lives avoiding. It didn’t seem to matter to Jesus who these people were because He was all about engagement.” Bob Goff, Love Does

And because words mean little without action, here are some action steps each of us can take:

1. Donate the excess things you have in your home and take them to the homeless shelter. If you need some motivation to gather your things, I highly recommend reading “More or Less” or “Margin”.

2. Get a group together and do one of the group volunteer opportunities

3. If your kids are older, consider volunteering AT the Road Home

4. If you are able to provide food, consider doing a dinner at the Road Home (details on their website)

5. Donate money to help shelter an individual or family at the Road Home

6. Do a clothing drive in your neighborhood to take to the Road Home. This was AWESOME for our kids to be a part of. They brought in the things from the porch, helped load the trailer, and went with us to drop it off at the Road Home. Plus we spent a LOT of time during the week we did the drive to discuss homelessness and the importance of taking care of each other.